Husband Cheated, left, trying DB

[LITB]

Thank you so much, you made me feel better saying I handled it well. He would definitely have to earn his way back, but I do not ever see him wanting to put in the work it would take to do so. I sure hope he does one day though.

You did handle things exceptionally well. It is unknown what he will want to do, but I do know that reality tends to be clouded when emotions are high. One day at a time, Kech. Keep enforcing boundaries and working on self-improvement, because you control you. No regrets in taking care of business.

Do that, and he will be fortunate to have an opportunity to work things out.

[kech]

Thank you Litb.

Having such a rough morning so far. Thinking of all these nights he has probably spent with her this last week. I am so sick to my stomach because of it. So sick. I haven’t heard from him. He has to come by our house to pick up some stuff he left here last night, but hopefully he will come while I’m gone this morning.

I didn’t feel this sick over it last night but now I do. Terrified he’s going to get serious with this woman. I’m so disgusted and the fact that he has made this girl feel like they’re IN A RELATIONSHIP?! He’s having a RELATIONSHIP with another woman. I don’t even understand how that’s possible.

I do not understand how he doesn’t feel how I feel. How he isn’t still so in love with me. Why send me all these mixed signals the last 2 days like he is so sad about this when really he clearly hasn’t been suffering. I mean did he really think I just wouldn’t find out?! And he is just deny deny deny. It is so crazyyyyyyy to me.

I have to go to a baptism this morning and put on a brave face. And the head of the church is the man who married my H and I. So I know I’ll be asked where he is. I’ll just be saying “he’s working”. I can’t belueve I have to now start a whole new process again of trying to deal and get past the fact that he’s literally seeing another woman. I don’t know if he’s leaving town still, if she will be with him, what he’s doing. Sometimes I feel like he’s the boy who cried wolf. Telling me things to get my reaction, to get me to beg him, but I’m not doing that anymore. And maybe that’s not what he’s doing, maybe he’s genuinely leaving. Maybe he’s genuinely suffering. But he’s MAKING THESE DECISIONS HIMSELF.

How can he tell me his life is so hard right now and it’s getting harder bc I’m calling him out. He CHOSE to date someone else! I didn’t choose that for him! I’m a little worried I haven’t heard from him. But I need to breathe and go through my day. He has broken my heart, stomped on it, spit on it, laughed at it, and broke it all over again. I told him last night I don’t know who he has become but that I want him to be ok.

I’d love him to be ok WITH ME but he doesn’t want that and honestly right now he doesn’t deserve me. I hope him and this woman are not feeling serious about one another. I don’t know how much more I can take honestly. I don’t have a choice, but how much is someone supposed to endure honestly??

[LITB]

Kech,

There isn't anyone can say to make how you are feeling any better. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Try to do everything you can to process those emotions of hurt and anger. It will take time.

It is good that you are posting about how you feel.

You might be tempted to yell at him or let him know how you feel. Honestly, you have handled what is probably the most difficult part, very well. Don't show him how hurt you are. This is the time to show him strength. Leave his belongings by the door, outside would be even better if that is an option. He isn't allowed inside your circle until he deserves it.

Is the head of the church someone who might be able to provide you with guidance and encouragement? Perhaps be honest with him, and let him know things are difficult right now. Just a thought.

You got this.

[kech]

Thank you again for your continued support and encouraging words. He has texted me this morning

H: let me know when I can see her

I did not respond and he sent 40 mins later
H: not today I take it
H: enjoy y’all Sunday

I didn’t respond to any of the texts, I was in a baptism. But I really would prefer not to respond honestly. He has no clue how much he’s hurt me. None. And I know he’s going to continue seeing this woman so I just feel like this pain is never going to end.

[kech]

Should I ask him to drop off the divorce paperwork and pick up his things or should I say nothing? I’m pretty livid right now and just trying to think clearly

[LITB]

He is temp checking you. Simply reply, "Another day would work better. Have a great day!!"

I'd let the emotions subside before asking for the divorce papers to be dropped off.

[kech]

So you think I should respond? I think your response suggestion is good

[LITB]

Yes, I think a simple response will suffice. Then go about your day.

[kech]

Ok thanks for the guidance, I sent what you suggested. I wish I could go about my day like normal but WOW this is rough. I can only imagine him spending his day with OW. I’m so sick to my stomach. I know I need to be strong, and I will only show him strength from my end. I wish someone could say to me “he will regret this and he will come back”, but I know no one can guarantee that.

He isn’t even acknowledging how last night he said he had to “get out of here for a few days”. He just says things like that and then acts like they weren’t said. It’s so bizarre.

[LITB]

If you continue on the path that you are on, I am confident he will regret it. Then the question becomes, will you reconciliate? Try not to get hung up on that right now. You will have a lot to say if that's how things go. You might not see it now, but mark my words. He has a long way to go before you should even considerate it.

Let's talk about your day. Any plans? Is the weather decent where you are at? If there are any duck ponds, maybe take your daughter to feed the ducks. Get out of the house and get some air.