He’s never going to hit rock bottom as long as he is OW there building his ego and making him feel good and giving him an emotional outlet. It’s like he will never even notice the loss of me as long as he has someone else there filling my spot. Isn’t that true?
No, that is not true. That is your fear talking.
Your H has his own issues that are portable. If he does not address them, they will cause issues in a new relationship at some point. Besides, most relationships that begin as an affair, usually fall a part.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I want to vent how I feel real quick. I feel like no matter what I do I can’t win.
The minute he comes back over here and gets face time with me, he’s going to feel better. And he’s going to LEAVE HERE and go spend the night with OW. And he’s going to feel good about that because he got time with our D, and he got to see me and then he still gets to continue falling in love with someone else on the side.
He didn’t reach out to me at all today. Which makes me think his only concern all day was OW. And I don’t know how to get past these feelings. How am I supposed to now know he leaves here and goes to her?! I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle that. I feel like nothing I do will bring him back to be bc all his needs are being met.
He will continue living this ridiculous lifestyle and there’s NOTHING I can do to stop it. There’s nothing I can do to change it. I can be a total b*tch and limit his time with D to 2 days a week or something but that’s horrible of me. Or I could be a total b*tch to him and no say 2 words when he’s here and it will be miserable. But how am I supposed to put on a happy face when I know he is seeing someone else?!
Now is where I start to regret saying anything about knowing. He was definitely feeling remorse and coming around more and now that we both know, even though he’s denying it, it’s going to make things back to bad again.
I feel helpless yet again. I feel like he’s in a position now where he’s trying to cling to the OW bc he knows he’s losing me and doesn’t want to risk losing her. I don’t know how people get through this.
I didn’t respond bc I wasn’t sure how to, so he texted again saying “sounds good”. Being a smart a**. I responded
“Tomorrow’s cool, ballpark on time?” H: 6ish
I haven’t responded. I’m a little more calm now. I get really worked up when I start putting context clues together and figuring out he’s most likely with OW. It’s just sickening. I hope you’re right. I hope OW isn’t filling my spot with him. He told me a few months ago he can’t get serious with anyone else bc he’s too in love with me and feels like he always will be.
I wanted to say YOURE MARRIED. You’re not supposed to be looking for anyone else. But I didn’t. Plus, I know not to believe anything they say. Although that clearly stuck with me.
I should prob respond that 6ish works. I hate having the last word
It’s good but I feel like sometimes it triggers things in me. I’m in a section where it’s saying to act in certain ways toward your spouse to get them to then want to act a similar way towards you. And so I start my nice girl thinking, like I need to be nice to him and outgoing with him so he will be the same to me.
I don’t know. I like the book a lot, and I need to keep going with it. But parts just trigger me to want to act right away and I need to not do that
I felt like I was following DB so great last week. By the end of the week he was texting me pretty frequently, telling me how much he sees changes in me, and coming around more. Now I feel like I’ve erased all that in his mind and I have only pushed him closer to OW.
How do I come back from this? Now that he knows I know he may go in deeper with her. This is so hard feeling like I’m constantly being tested. I want to back to where I was with him just 2 days ago, but now what if he is vowing his loyalty to the OW and won’t let himself feel how he was feeling towards me?
I feel like I had it down and I was so cool around him last week, and now I can already feel myself in my own head not able to find that cool again. Any suggestions?
