You responded just fine to her "sleepwalking" but quit trying to read signs from her. You are not a psychic.
Plus, you aren't supposed to believe anything she says and only half of what she does. Work on your detachment so you aren't trying to read the signs.
This is truth. W has been kinda distant all day. Came home, put her headphones on, and has been watching shows on her ipad all evening. No conversation at all, which was somewhat 'normal' for her/us over the last year. Oh well, I shouldn't have been reading 'signs' in the first place. Probably no big deal anyway. I haven't really been going out doing anything for myself the past two weeks (largely because we've been seemingly progressing towards R), but I think tomorrow evening I will.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
I haven't really been going out doing anything for myself the past two weeks (largely because we've been seemingly progressing towards R), but I think tomorrow evening I will.
This is the exact opposite of what you want to be doing T. Now as when you want to double down on the GAL. You want to show her a man that has goals, has options, has other things going on in his life.
You keep hanging around like a puppy dog looking for scraps and you will turn her off.
I want to make this clear that you are no way close to being out of the woods and you need to work even harder.
Your W is not going back to the same marriage and if you keep doing what you have been doing your going to keep getting what you have been getting.
I haven't really been going out doing anything for myself the past two weeks (largely because we've been seemingly progressing towards R), but I think tomorrow evening I will.
This is the exact opposite of what you want to be doing T. Now as when you want to double down on the GAL. You want to show her a man that has goals, has options, has other things going on in his life.
You keep hanging around like a puppy dog looking for scraps and you will turn her off.
I want to make this clear that you are no way close to being out of the woods and you need to work even harder.
Your W is not going back to the same marriage and if you keep doing what you have been doing your going to keep getting what you have been getting.
Let's go!
THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Go back to when you and your W first met. You had other things that took up your time and attention. This is a big reason she was attracted to you. No one likes to be a planet with a moon constantly orbiting them. Be your own planet!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
^^^^^ even if you are progressing towards R, you need to keep a life of your own. Don't hinge your life on hers. It probably a part of what lead to the bomb.
Everyone should have a life! Be your own man. It's true, women like that.
You guys qnd gals are right. I know theyre lame excuses, but its hard to go out when she works till 7 or 8. Im old and go to bed at 10! The opportunity just hasnt been there, but then again i havent went out of my way to create an opportunity either.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Don't plan your daily life around her schedule. Do what you wanna do, and do it for you. Those pitiful interactions where you watch her on her ipad with headphones on all night make you look lame and weak. You only live once, so enjoy the moments you do have. She'll see it and wonder. What that means for your sitch is to be seen.
Opportunities are created, just like you said. Go out of your way a little and see what happens.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
T, I posted this earlier in Did's thread based on LITB copying the picnic story. I think you can use it too:
Originally Posted by Steve85
This is so good!! It reminds me of a screen saver from years ago that we used to put on WIndows PCs. It was called Johnny Castaway. When the screensaver would launch there would be a picture of an island, and Johnny Castaway, as a castaway on it.
Johnny usually moped about the island, looking forelorn, sad, lonely. He'd stand and look at the PC user. He'd wave, or walk to the other end of the island.
When Johnny was doing what he ALWAYS did, he was boring. You couldn't wait to move your mouse to get him off of your screen.
Every once in a while Johnny would get involved into something that might make his life better on the island. Whether it was fishing. Or trying to start a fire. Or getting a coconut from the lone tree on the island and trying to open it. When Johnny got involved in something like that he became interesting! His focus was no more on the fact that he was alone, on an island. The viewer would get sucked in and wonder "what is Johnny doing?" "Will he be successful?" "What will be the outcome?"
When you were interested to see what Johnny was doing you didn't dare move your mouse to make him go away! You were sucked in and interested again! Why? Because he was being proactive, he was doing unusual things, he was worried about himself and only himself and trying to better his life.
YOU are Johnny Castaway. She is the PC user. In order to keep her from moving her mouse to make you go away you need to stay busy (GAL). You need to do things you don't normally do (180). You need to ignore the PC user and go about your own business (detach).
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I dont mind the headshots! I need them now. Things have been going well, and I think I got a little lazy. The last 2 nights were the only nights i looked lame and pathetic. It wont happen again. Even if i cant leave the house ill make myself busy. Thanks guys!
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
