you're still getting too caught up on everything she says. She sees you getting busy, doing your thing, and is only sniffing. Temp-checking like Steve said, so don't capitulate.
Keep on keeping on, let her go through her journey. Quit snooping. Keep improving. Good luck.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I’m doing well. From my phone here sorry for typos. Thanks for checking in and for the advice from everyone. W came over to get D4 yesterday ended up hanging for an hour or so played with D4 together. Asked me to sit next to her. Went for a walk. I have no expectations and have put no pressure on her since pushing her when she told me she was having feelings for me a week or two ago. She mentioned being jealous of me dating but that’s not a good reason to be together. She also said she likes me when I’m calm and cool etc. Waited with her door open when I put d4 in the car wanted a hug. I went for the 1 arm thing then she came in closer and pulled me to her... I didn’t fight it.
Sent me pics of her and D4 in bed this morning. She looked pretty sexy, gorgeous. I told her they looked beautiful but haven’t been pursuing. I haven’t been reaching out much. Trying to be less available but also still be kind and respond about D4 stuff. Still FaceTime usually once a day.
She is taking her test to Ben a licensed soil scienctist Thursday so I’ll have d4 most of the week. Love that little girl.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
She's still temp-checking you, bruh. You're taking baby steps, but you still need to hone your strat.
- Establish physical boundaries. One-arm hug. Any more and tell her that you don't feel comfortable (or as my W told me, "Don't do that. It kind of creeps me out."
- Validate, validate, validate. When she says she likes you calm and cool, you say "Thanks!"
How many eye rolls and wtf are you thinking type comments do I get for wanting to get her flowers and a card to say good luck for the test. NGS? Just don’t... pursuit? I know it would make her happy. But I know I can’t nice her back no matter how much I’d like to. So I just continue to pull away...
I kinda like the it creeps me out line on the hug. It creeps Me out to hug since we aren’t Together.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
How many eye rolls and wtf are you thinking type comments do I get for wanting to get her flowers and a card to say good luck for the test. NGS? Just don’t... pursuit? I know it would make her happy. But I know I can’t nice her back no matter how much I’d like to. So I just continue to pull away...
I kinda like the it creeps me out line on the hug. It creeps Me out to hug since we aren’t Together.
If you're asking us about the eye-rolls and wtf are you thinking comments that you will get when you want to get her flowers, shouldn't that tell you what you should (should not) do?
Just a simple "Good luck!" will do. You show that you care, but you're not trying to win her approval.
She's still temp-checking you, bruh. You're taking baby steps, but you still need to hone your strat.
- Establish physical boundaries. One-arm hug. Any more and tell her that you don't feel comfortable (or as my W told me, "Don't do that. It kind of creeps me out."
- Validate, validate, validate. When she says she likes you calm and cool, you say "Thanks!"
Good progress man. Keep at it.
About 2 dozen eye rolls from me alone.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Better to write here rather than do it in real life right? I still have the desire to bring happiness into each others lives. But I understand her happiness is not my responsibility and vice versa. She sent me this article the other day about toxic relationships and something about her type being uncomfortable with intimacy and needing to lean into the discomfort. Its like she wants us back and me but cant / wont do it. She talks about being jealous, having feelings, facetimes me every day etc... I guess could just be temp checks constantly. But I havent been jumping at her. Trying to just be consistent and keep my cool, do my thing.
Although I did sleep up a few days ago and we got into an argument the toxic relationship article she sent me. That must have been Friday. She talked about her progress and being centered when we argue - she used to say go F yourself and things like that anytime we fought. We talked on the phone at like 11pm that night after she had been drinking. She sounded so much calmer, like her guard was down letting herself be feminine and cute instead of tight, walled up an tough. Then Saturday she was here to pick up D4 and I was calm, cool... went well. Since then limited contact but positive when we interact....
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Hey Did.....she has you right where she wants you. A nice, safe distance. She knows that if she wants to work things out, you will dive in head first. There isn't much to motivate her to change your sitch.
If you stop the voluntary support, then things will get real.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
If you're asking us about the eye-rolls and wtf are you thinking comments that you will get when you want to get her flowers, shouldn't that tell you what you should (should not) do?