I started wearing a rubber band on my wrist. Everytime i think about W, M, or my sitch Im going to give my wrist a little snap with it. Maybe that will lessen the amount of time i spend dwelling on my sitch.
W has been acting a little fun since ive been GAL. She goes in phases from nice to devil, and im seeing a big evil moment building up.
Ive given up any realistic hope that we will ever reconcile. Learning that she was unhappy for a long time, and thinks she chose the wrong person when she chose to be with me years ago was a wake up call. Im not sure if this is MLC talking, but i dont see anything left to hope for. W and OM are in love and living their fantasy together. Im the odd man out it seems.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
So either W or OM got her a second phone, my guess is OM. Im guessing its so they can talk while shes at home and we cant tell who shes talking to. She was on the phone for about 2-3 hours strsight with someone last night. Im guessing you dont stay on the phone with just a friend when your brushing your teeth etc.
That said, she was definitely trying to show her @ss last night. Barking out directions to my son and trying to pick a fight with me over petty things(all while on the phone). Shes stooped so low that shes trying to show OM how bad she has it at home and how shes putting her foot down. This woman has treated her family like trash, cheated on me, abandoned us at times, and we're the bad guys? WOW. Shes so far off the rails i dont know if she'll ever make it back on track.
After thinking about this for a bit, im going to use this as motivation. Im going to lead an awesome life and have a great career at the end of the day. Im also going to kill her with kindness. No pursuit, but i wont be the bad guy she tries to characterize me as...because im not and have never been. Im going to be as friendly as possible and be the best me i can be while im in this period of personal growth.
Last edited by equalzr; 09/20/1802:03 PM.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
You are buying all W is selling. You need to get her respect back. She is very WW and has been for a long time...
Do you want to stay in that kind of marriage?
You know, I was a wayward husband some time ago...if you don´t set some boundaries you´ll never regain her respect. You need to DB equalzr. Use your time wisely.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Thank you for the honesty Neffer, i appreciate and need it.
Can you explain to me what you mean by im buying what shes selling? Does that mean im still attached and letting it affect me or...?
Your correct, shes been WW for a loooong time, and probably longer than i actually know about. I damn sure need to get my respect back. Im doing that by taking care of business and holding my own even though my financial situation is less than stellar from spending years as a stay @ home dad. As far as getting respect back from W in what our R is now, i do struggle with that at times.
Im very focused on db'ing again lately but its not for W anymore its for me. Ill keep it up, and im currently rereading and digesting DR book again. I have much to learn!
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
That right E, DB is for you. Detaching, going dark and GAL are for you. And is her loss.
You have the energy to get into action E. Move! Stand for yourself, you need to do that.
Let her go, she must feel that you are not her plan B or whatever she considers. Set yourself free. It´s about you now, about living YOUR life. Make that your goal.
Get into amoafwl
(((hugs)))
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
W comes home after being out all day. She left for work at 7am, probably got done before 2, and said she had to help her mother after work(another lie). She comes home after 10 at night. Now shes filed for D, so this isnt my fight anymore. That said, i still feel like it is abandoning your kid to be gone all the time like this. Nobody has a clue where you are either.
Why am i supposed to share placement again? Shes never home and comes in at all hours, and when she is home she stays locked in the bedroom. What is she going to do with him when she doesnt interact with him much now? She only wants to be a part time mother.
Im feeling anger from betrayal at the moment. Still not fully detached. Just pi$$ed she has the balls to come in the house and walk around now talking to OM on phone in front of us. Shes walking around having an attitude in front of me so OM thinks there is tension in the home. WW usually talks to me in normal tone. I think shes going to try and make time up until D as miserable as possible.
Last edited by equalzr; 09/21/1803:44 AM.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
I was going to vent about W on here and realized she doesnt deserve it. Im bummed out after she started a R talk because she sees me GAL. It was just the usual list of wrongs i committed etc. I did my best to validate but probably only earned a B at it. My progress took a hit, it was a hurtful conversation even though i played it cool.
When do you quit validating? Is that something you continie to do regardless or is it when you no longer desire a R whatsoever?
I have a fun weekend planned regardless. Went to a football game with S tonight. Tomorrow i have to run errands with son, and then i'll be going out for the night. W commented that we never went out and now im going out all the time. I must be doing a little more for myself than im giving myself credit for.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
