DB / Detach- Will we ever piece it together

[Did]

Maybe no talk about connection and just have fun be light and live in the moment

[neffer]

Going to tell her to look good do your make up etc. Going to say some things to work towards connection emotional and not just physical first, just simply caring about each other, liking each other, forgiving each other for the pain we've caused and wanting an honest open relationship where we can connect based on communication and not just sex etc then treat it as just sex if it happens.

Just carry the no expectations bag...

[ovrrnbw]

I'm scared she's trying to suck you back in with sex b/c you are finally getting stronger.

[Did]

Ovr me too. But realistically I think she’s horny and seeing she may lose me. I reread stuff about LRT talks about chemicals with sex. I’m going into this time looking to enjoy it and have fun with her. We have 2.5 hours of time just the two of us. More than we’ve had in a year or more. It’s like a date.

She’s sexy I’m going to live in the moment and enjoy the experience. No expectations. Then back to DB and GAL. Maybe we don’t even have sex we haven’t even kissed in 15 months. So we’ll see. I hope we both want to and continue to rebuild a connection which I think we started yesterday.

I’m not going to pursue her. She can continue to show interest and if we start dating and spending nights together parenting together that’s when I’ll start to open up to working on the marriage.

Wish me luck.

[LITB]

I agree with Neffer. Just leave the expectations at the door.

[Did]

So we stayed in bed the whole time. She dropped an L bomb - I love you. I told her I probably won’t say that for a while. She seemed surprised and hurt at first but then seemed to understand that I felt like I needed to protect myself. Talked about other partners some. She seems to want to spend time together we plan on getting food together with d4 tomorrow. We talked about seeing a MC and she was open to it. There is a MC that’s a licensed sex therapist I think we’re going to see.

The attraction chemistry and connection was still there. She said she has had no motivation to date and doesn’t see any reason to see other people. Wants to spend time with me. Asked about OW a bit. I wasn’t honest.

As I was leaving to get D4 we both kind of said said did that really just happen.

[Did]

Sorry meant I was honest about OW. She knows Ive been seeing her. Not going to jump ahead and talk about future relationship etc or reach out to her today unless she contacts me.

[AnotherStander]

I don't know Did, I've seen this kind of deal play out before and jumping back in the sack has never been the first step to a meaningful recon. Usually it just gives a LBS false hope, then they feel BD'd all over again when the WAS goes silent on them again. TREAD CAREFULLY. Don't push too hard for MC and such. She should be the one bringing it up, looking into C's and making arrangements. If that's not happening then it's just you trying to force a recon before she is ready. Don't discount the power of sexual cravings, she may have been just satisfying that. Don't get me wrong, it's a good sign, one a lot of LBS's would envy. But you're not out of the woods yet. Drop your expectations!

[Davide]

I would echo AnotherStander here, Did. Be very careful and don't let your expectations for R cloud your vision. Aren't you at the end of the 3 months that you agreed to pay her expenses for? The timing of that would worry me. Obviously this seems like a positive development, but don't read too much into it.

Good luck!

[SteveLW]

Timing of this is vey interesting....... support about to end and suddenly "Lets have sex. I love you."

Sorry Did. You're still being played.