M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I don't want to apply too much meaning to her actions. It's imposable to completely ignore.
I just thought I should journal here because it has seemed to stay with me. Later I will reread these threads and it is interesting to see what was going on.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
So W and I spend a considerable amount of time together. Mostly centered around food or watching movies. She demonstrates much more respect and I don't micromanage. I listen more than I speak and for the most part, it is working. Still no intimacy. Sometimes I feel like things could lead there, but I try to default to "I'm still going to let her make the first move". This too is another 180.
I still have times when I feel suspicious, angry and resentful, but it is usually when W isn't around. I mitigate those feelings and they go away.
I often wonder if there is something else that I need to be doing. If I have been friend-zoned and I am again wasting my time. Perhaps we are going through a process of a reset and I need to be patient.
When I look to God, I feel like I just need to be patient. When I embrace my God give masculine energy I tend to think I shouldn't tolerate this and should look at moving along.
If there is some way I should be or a behavior I should increase, I wish I knew what it was.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
So W and I spend a considerable amount of time together. Mostly centered around food or watching movies. She demonstrates much more respect and I don't micromanage. I listen more than I speak and for the most part, it is working. Still no intimacy. Sometimes I feel like things could lead there, but I try to default to "I'm still going to let her make the first move". This too is another 180.
I still have times when I feel suspicious, angry and resentful, but it is usually when W isn't around. I mitigate those feelings and they go away.
I often wonder if there is something else that I need to be doing. If I have been friend-zoned and I am again wasting my time. Perhaps we are going through a process of a reset and I need to be patient.
When I look to God, I feel like I just need to be patient. When I embrace my God give masculine energy I tend to think I shouldn't tolerate this and should look at moving along.
If there is some way I should be or a behavior I should increase, I wish I knew what it was.
No advice here, just that you seem to be in a similar place as me. It's tough. I at least try (not very successful all the time) to remind myself that where I"m at now is much better than where i was a few weeks/months ago.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
No advice here, just that you seem to be in a similar place as me. It's tough. I at least try (not very successful all the time) to remind myself that where I"m at now is much better than where i was a few weeks/months ago.
I can't argue with that.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I just read something that resonates with me and may very well speak to others here.
"Secure people don't feel the need to control the situation. They realize that they can either adjust and if needed, just walk away."
I think this is the core meaning of why it is so important to GAL. By restoring one's self-esteem, we are able to Detach. So why is it so important to Detach?
1. It stops any "Fight or Flight" dynamic and removes pressure on both parties. Stop the chase. 2. Works to restore the masculine/feminine dynamic in the R. This is why NGS is so toxic to an R. 3. It improves the attractiveness and perceived value of the LBS.
I am by no means an expert, but I am the type of person that better learns this type of stuff when I feel I understand it. Wait, was that in its self, controlling behavior? lol Anyway, I hope this might help others.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Well, you better find a secure person within yourself.
Insecurity is not only unattractive, but it's also miserable.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
