Husband cheated, left, trying SO HARD to DB 2

[URE]

In time, you will find that the separation gets easier for you. You adjust and discover that things aren't quite as horrible as you feared that they would be. And you get used to be alone and to accept what has already happened. It took me about six weeks to move on from the constantly miserable stage to something more tolerable. Of course, that was after several months of the absolute joy of in-house separation. It also took my spouse about six weeks to find out that separation wasn't as rosy as expected.

I also wouldn't read too much into the declining number of texts either. My spouse stopped texting me almost entirely and then started to tell me that she missed me constantly.

[kech]

Thanks URE!

6 weeks, mannnn I cant even imagine feeling this way that long. But I know it could also be longer.

Last night was a rough one. I tried to stay busy but as soon as I sat still my mind went crazy.

Woke up this morning feeling a bad morning coming on and tried to just get busy. Got a text from H saying "I will mow the lawn tonight if you watch the baby while I do it. But then I want her after."

I responded about 45 minutes later "thats fine, thank you"

Been busy with work, and will be making a list of things to get done today as soon as I get a second. Really praying today is a better day. Yesterday was a doozy. Thanks all!

[lost8]

Hang in there, we are here for you. My WW was home all weekend because she is fighting with OM and I admit it stunk! I had a routine of things I was doing Fri night, Sat and Sunday that were quite productive and was enjoying them.
I ended up falling into her partying cycle and didn't get anything done. Granted I started in house sep about 6 weeks ago and was GAL and detaching about 7 weeks ago so it does take time.

I find I only have tough days if I let myself have them. I don't get caught up in long convos, texts etc, I let her rant and wait until I am ready to read them. And by all means do not expect anything positive ie things about the R and compliments etc from these communications. I used to wait for the phone to buzz, now I dread it because I know it is the same garbage

[neffer]

That´s a key factor: have no expectations.

[kech]

Thank you both. Neffer, I know youre right about no expectations. I really wish I could stick with that.

Lost, I know I can control my days, like you said you only have tough days if you let yourself. But its like my mind just goes there and theres no getting out.

Awful. Staying busy today. Kind of dreading seeing him tonight because I feel like hes just going to be so blah towards me.

[Dtrmned]

Kech,
Good Morning!
Hopefully the sun is shining and your daughter is amazing so you can see the beauty of the day in spite of what is going on.

I saw a mention of this yesterday, but now that your WH is on a schedule and you don't have to communicate much more on his comings and goings. A minor slip up in you wearing your shorts that drive him crazy may be a good thing. Having him see what he is missing (and you now these affect him) might not be a bad thing.

You are now too busy and caught up in your life to remember everything and cater to all his needs. Not everytime, but a "minor" slip up like that will cause him to notice. If he reacts, it means he is still wanting you to be plan B.

Always, as a newbie going through my own version of this, this is always just in my humble opinion.

I have found over the last week or so that not posting on here every 5 minutes helps me keep my head straighter and my mind off of it. If I am typing about what just happened for a 15--20 minute interaction and I am responding for 2 hours on here, that is a long time and hard to keep your mind off of it.

Good luck today! Have fun with your D, put your H out of your mind, and do somethings for yourself.

I know, easier said than done, but one minute, one hour, one day at a time...

[kech]

Justsad, I think you are right about that, about being on here and constantly focusing on it. Right now I find that I am SO distraught, I will come on here just to see if anyone has responded and can help me feel a little stronger. Right now im just so low. Even through my busy-ness, I cant shake the sadness. Makes me sick to my stomach.

I wish I could just stop thinking about him. And stop thinking about him and OW. I dont know anything about them, like Blu said. But I have certainly made up a ton in my mind.

I honestly dont even know why he comes here anymore. He always says things to me like "You just wish I would just disappear dont you?", and i have never ever said anything like that to him. It makes me think that thats just what he wants to do. He has said it multiple times now. He comes here and just hangs out with the baby for an hour or 2, falls asleep on the couch and then I come home and wake him up and he leaves. I dont know how thats enough for him.

I guess it doesnt really matter, I just still get caught up in how he has all this free time for OW now. If I can get past the fact that hes building a new life and relationship, then I can get through this. but i cant get past that quite yet. I hope soon.

[ED133]

"You just wish I would just disappear dont you?"

I think he is temp checking you. Think about it if he didn't care why would he say anything.

Sometimes I read these posts and I get so sad. I hate seeing other people going through what I am going through. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. You are doing great. Remember hour by hour, day by day. It will get better. Your baby will be so proud of you!

[kech]

Thanks ED. I am again really struggling. Felt good for a good portion of the day but now not so much. How does a man who loved you more than anything just do this when youre pregnant, when you guys just bought a house, when you have everything ahead of you. I dont know how hes done this to me and to us.

I just feel so weak and sad this week. I dont know whats going on.

[ED133]

I think trying to understand how they think and why they do what they do is impossible. It doesn't make sense how they can hurt the person they love. When most people would not do that to a stranger.

It will get better. Keep GAL. My WW said you are always so positive to me a few days ago. A few weeks ago she said I was always angry and never happy. Go figure.

They are messed up in the fog or whatever you want to call it. I iust look at it like they are broken. It helped me alot to stop asking why all the time. Even if it was only in my head.