Here we go again.

[SteveLW]

ED, you don't want to discuss this stuff. Have you read DB/DR? Avoid R talks. At all costs.

How does one handle the situation when the WAS brings up the R?

Listen. And validate.

[Ready2Change]

She just told me she isn't texting him anymore

H:"W, Texting isn't the issue. Being deceptive and contacting other men while you are married is the issue."

then walk away.

[ED133]

What i should have said is she is going to stop talking to him now. Probably something she discussed with the IC.

Yes I have read both books. I know I was wrong but its hard to pretend it doesn't exist.

2 years ago she moved out, got an apartment and had om1 in with her. That lasted a day and a half. He went back with his gf. I didn't know about this site back then. But I found some website that recommended basically DB ideas. So I half a$$ed it and it worked right away. The only problem I had was I let her back too easy. So here I am again.

[ED133]

Ready2Change
Did that. I guess I was too impatient. Way too impatient. Especially when she started being nicer. My WW is the definition of don't believe a word they say. She tells me she can't see it ever changing, she wants to be happy, she wants a D, blah blah blah. So I said call the lawyer and have him write it up. I can't do this. Guess who never called a lawyer??

[Ready2Change]

She tells me she can't see it ever changing, she wants to be happy, she wants a D, blah blah blah.

H: "I see many solutions to our issues, but if divorce is the ONLY WAY for you to be happy, I will not stand in your way."

[Ready2Change]

It only takes ONE person to change the dynamics in the relationship. You change the way you interact with W, IT FORCES her to interact different."

Focus on the way YOU interact.

[ED133]

Thanks . I need to remember that

[Grace21]

H: "I see many solutions to our issues, but if divorce is the ONLY WAY for you to be happy, I will not stand in your way."

I love this. I won't be surprised if I have to use this in the not too distant future!

[ED133]

I used several times and it worked

[ED133]

So after today's argument about NC with om2. She is throwing the D word around alot. Then she shuts down and covers her head with the pillow. Fast forward a few hours after a workout (her) and a shower. She is like a new person. Talking and being friendly.

This has been a common theme in our R. I try to discuss a problem. She avoids and gets distant. Then she uses anger or walks away to control the conversation. Then give her some time and she acts like we are all good like nothing happened.
Wish I knew the code.