Glad you're doing well, Orange. Don't respond to those temp checks. Ghosting is the way to go for sure...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Ovvr – No, she hasn’t done really anything to “move it forward” regarding the D. She has been just reactionary. Tried to get more money from child support, that is about all she has done. There was a different judge on Sept 11th at the “Final” divorce hearing. He said he was going to recalculate the numbers, I had previously submitted motions to have my child care payments credited to my child support. Since Sept 11th I have not heard a peep from the courts. Not regarding my motions, any re-calculations, or any further decisions or movement on my divorce case. I am actually hoping that its been delayed because the original judge is getting caught up with the case. He was much more involved, engaged and fair in my opinion. The 2nd judge seemed lazy and awaiting retirement.
MTB – Thanks for touching base, I had been wondering how you were doing. It was nice to see an update from you. I agree. I actually fell in a bit with the “I miss you” temp check, I called her out on it. I said didn’t believe it was a text to a friend mis-sent. She stood her ground claiming it was, I said it was no big deal, just a misunderstanding. She sticks to her stories, lies or not, so there was no point in pushing the issue.
This weekend she did a bit more, texting me about “a new guy at her work who knows of my parents, has a camp house up near their house it’s a small world!”
As well as “Ill be out once the new guy at work finishes up with his client! Ill see you soon to get S3, CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM!!!”
So more of the “My STBXH is dangerous and needs a TRO, but ill cheerfully text him 3x a week!” *OrangeK rolls eyes*
Lastly, I was contacted by someone from EX-FIL’s past. With very damning evidence that STRONGLY reinforces my suspicion he is a dangerous person for S3 to be around. I will be looking further into this and very likely filing an RO against him to not be near S3. Very dark, damning things. What a sick world we live in….
Other than that, things are business as usual. Dating Mary is going well, continuing to grow, but I do have my defenses up a bit too.
S3 has been doing really well, school loves him. 1st Dentist Appt. soon.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Ovr – What about her behavior strikes you as odd?? I know I have my own reasons, just wondering if you and I are identifying the same behaviors.
Yesterday was a bit odd – I was leaving work, and taking a right onto the main rd like I always do. OM drove by with EX in the passenger seat, and after a few cars went by, I made my right turn onto the road, same direction they were going on their way to pick up S3 I would assume. OM then quickly turned off the main rd onto a side street away from the direction of S3’s school. I continued up the road, stopped at the store, as was my original plan, and then turned around and headed back the way I was coming from, and took my right hand turn at the 4 way intersection OM had just earlier turned at abruptly. I took my right hand turn and there they were behind me, now again on course for S3’s school. I turned off that road right before they did, but headed in the direction of my house. I honestly think OM / EXW saw me from my work parking lot, and assumed I was following them or something? Which is why he turned off the road, and then detoured for no reason, only to head the direction he was going in originally.
So far there have been 4 “hoover” type events. – For those curious, Google “Narcissistic Hoovering Techniques” to get an idea of what I mean. 1 – way back in Jan, before TRO – I got a “oh, remember we used to watch this show together? I had watched some episodes and thought of you”
2 – Aug – the “I saw there was a car wreck (nowhere near my house) and people were badly hurt and killed, are you ok??” 3 – Sept. – the “I miss you” “oops” “Sh*t” “I didn’t mean to send that” texts which she claimed were accidental.
Then the Once a month niceness, random texts about things we don’t really need to discuss.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I just feel like she is trying to regain the companionship with you, she's acting like y'all are best friends again. That's a WTF to me.
Quote
I called her out on it. I said didn’t believe it was a text to a friend mis-sent.
Don't do that! You're putting her on the spot. I imagine she did this on purpose but was scared to do that and you didn't make it ok for her. You had to tell her you know. Instead of just being happy that you were missed and feeling good about that, it's like you had to prove a point. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that there's no point to "call her out" and that "calling people out" is much like starting a fight.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Ovvr – Perhaps “Called her out” was a bad term to use. Here is the convo we had about it.
She had messeged me about new boots she bought S3.
Me: “Those are cool, I bet hell love them, How has he been for you, any behaviors we should discuss? Also, about the other night, Missing what we had is to be expected, It was a big change and ordeal for both of us. I dont blame you for missing things. S3 missis his family being together. He mentions it a lot. I hope life is going well for you. Have a nice night”
Her: “The other night???”
Me: “The “I miss you texts” “
Her: “Like I said, those were meant for my friend, I sent them to you on accident” *Sends video* “I had sent this video to my friend, and the convo was open next to yours. I texted you instead of her on accident”
Me: “ok. I didn’t need the video as evidence”
Her: “Well, it just seemed like you don’t believe me that it was meant for my friend”
Me: “I didn’t”
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
