I am so very sorry about your experience with the IC. I am in agreement with the others...time for a new one. They are suppose to be there to listen and guide you along the way.
Why do you think you are being mean when you respond to him the way that you do? I don't see it. There is no need to be chatty with him. I do think he's starting to sense that something is wrong is trying to get you to tell him what is going on. I wouldn't be very open about what you are thinking or doing at the moment.
Today is a new day, if you have the time, start the search for a new IC who is actually pro marriage. Many of us have had this experience and sometimes it takes more than one attempt to locate a good IC. Don't give up the search.
You aren't going to just "snap out" of this. It takes time to grieve for the loss of a relationship. You are going to have good and bad days and allow that pain to wash over you and then release it. Find ways to channel that anger and hurt, i.e., weeding a flower bed, punching a pillow, etc. You will find that releasing that frustration, hurt, etc., will help you heal. Remember, it's not you, but him and he needs to figure things out.
Keep the focus on you and your child.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I wouldn't say anything. I get the same texts, tired of the texting, so much is lost in translation. If he really wants to know he will say that in person....you see him enough.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
I think I might just say to him, "Im letting you go like you wanted, and I am moving on with or without you. Just finding my way"
Nooooo. Don't say this. It sounds needy and passive aggressive.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
I wouldn't say one word...he knows that something is up. Just let him stew. Unless the texts are important or about your child/bills, you do not need to respond to every text he sends. Also, I would consider waiting a while before responding to his texts. If he asks what took you so long to respond, say "I have been busy".
When in doubt, do absolutely nothing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
AnotherStander posted this to Burned this morning. This is excellent advice about responding to texts. Also, put a rubber band on your wrist and when you have that itch to text/call him, snap it. It will make you focus on the sting rather than the itch to contact him.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Burned, yes those are awesome thoughts, you're on the right path! Now moving forward, when she texts you a "good morning" or "just checking on you" or any of the other dozen texts that all WAS's send (it's in their WAS handbook you know) then A) don't reply and B) don't expend a bunch of energy talking about what her message might have meant, what it probably didn't mean, what will happen next, what will happen if nothing happens next, etc. etc. Just let it go Achilles
Edit to add- this comment of hers: "I didn't need anything, just wanted to say hello. Hope you're OK." just absolutely smacks of pity. Almost to the point of making me throw up in my mouth. Like she's soooo worried about poor pitiful you, she wrecked your poor widdle life and now she's throwing you a dog biscuit on the ground to make sure she doesn't need to call the Suicide Hotline for you. Just concentrate on being AWESOME.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
