Definitely GAL this weekend. Went out last night with friends while H came over to watch the baby. He had his day today with her as well at our house and I’ve been really pulling back. Not saying much to him and he has been starting random conversations which feels nice but I don’t say much back to him.
He left after his time with d and sent me a text saying “im tired of the awkward feeling.”
I guess he means the weirdness between us now that I haven’t really been talking much to him the last couple of days. He sent the text about an hour and a half ago and I never responded. I didn’t really know how to. It is awkward between us but it’s bc I’m extremely hurt by what he’s doing so he doesn’t just get to be my friend or something.
I left and went to lunch with my family. He likes to be with her all day sundays though so I got home and went into the bedroom and took a nap and then showered and stayed away. Then he said he was going to head out and for me to have a good night. And I said thanks you too and that was it. And then he sent the text like 2 minutes after he left.
He doesn't like the awkwardness . . . Uhh, Bud? Maybe don't run off with your mistress and abandon your wife and baby?
Be honest with yourself -- is there anything at all that's attractive about this man as he is currently constituted?
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
I cant seem to detach. I have had a knot in my stomach ALL day today, just feeling like he is happy in his new life enough to where he still doesnt want to try to fix us. He wants what is outside of our marriage more than our marriage right now and thats a hard pill to swallow.
I was so tempted to respond to him "And im tired of my husband leaving OUR home everyday to go see another woman"..but instead I said nothing
I'm right there with you kech....I have had a good run of a few weeks and for some reason I woke up feeling the same way about my WW. I will just keep pushing through and stay the course....can't force them to do anything, just have to focus on ourselves and our kids.
You are not alone.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
I cant seem to detach. I have had a knot in my stomach ALL day today, just feeling like he is happy in his new life enough to where he still doesnt want to try to fix us. He wants what is outside of our marriage more than our marriage right now and thats a hard pill to swallow.
Let's assume for a minute that this is true. What can you do? It sounds like you are trying to justify pressure and pursuit. However, we've covered this territory. If you let him come home. Shower him with love. Try to compete with the OW head-to-head, your chances of success are almost zero. We've seen it 100 times if we've seen it once.
This is why you need to double down on DB. GAL. Continue to work on detachment. Become the strong, independent, "I'm going to be ok no matter what you choose" woman and spouse that only a fool would leave.
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I was so tempted to respond to him "And im tired of my husband leaving OUR home everyday to go see another woman"..but instead I said nothing
WHat do you think this would have accomplished? How would this have helped your sitch? You did right thing in not responding. (NOte, not responding is NOT the same thing as ignoring. LBSs get that wrong all the time.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
