Man, when you say "anything", you really meant "ANYTHING". lol
Working on figuring out my options.
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She is pulling shenanigans and is being open about it. She is going to cohabitiate with you so she can see her son.
That's the thing...I don't think she wants to move back in. But we're going to find out. I need to cover as much ground with this today as I can (as far as finding out what I can and can't do to handle this mess).
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She is in no way shape or form recommitting to the marriage. Especially with the way she rages at you and tells you she hates you. You want your son to see that? I am also pretty sure she has something up her sleeve. I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her. I’m sorry, but I would protect myself and my son and watch my back.
Nothing to be sorry about. I've got a signed/notarized MSA, so if nothing else, that's a binding contract stating that we agree that I have full custody. It seems tricky to find specific info on topics like this, but from what I CAN tell, she signed it, and it can't be undone. D or no.
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Just a thought, but do you think she is probably trying to buy time, so she can capture more moments with y'all son. This way she can show the courts, she does more and needs more custody.
Totally plausible. And very likely.
Gonna get as much info today as fast as I can so I know how to respond. I emailed the mediators last night to find out the actual status of the divorce decree, to find out where she made this up or not. We'll find out.
My plan is: if she's not going to be 100% on board, then I'll get the decree, set a new court date, and get this done. That's unfortunately probably the best course of action at this point to ensure that she doesn't find a way to change the custody...which honestly doesn't seem likely.
If it DOES require both parties to dismiss a D after mediation, then they still would need one more motion to dismiss - mine. Which literally gives me 100% control over whether this happens or not...but I need to confirm that.
Nothing to be sorry about. I've got a signed/notarized MSA, so if nothing else, that's a binding contract stating that we agree that I have full custody. It seems tricky to find specific info on topics like this, but from what I CAN tell, she signed it, and it can't be undone. D or no.
Please please please talk to a lawyer. 99.9% will do a free consultation. Use that. You need to know what your options are. They've seen it all.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I agree with the above Mac, watch your back and proceed with caution. I personally wouldnt treat her sh**ty because i think shes up to something, nor would i start treating her good because i think MR is back on. Best advice i can give is to keep bettering yourself as a man and father(what we all need to do). Seems like you have some more time on your hands and the ball is on your side of the court as far as the next step.
I dont remember if you have talked with a L yet or not, but make sure you do so you can have plan A, B, and C lined up depending on what happens next with W. Knowing your options ahead of time is paramount.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
You are rationalizing. She TOLD you she isn't anywhere near 100% She actually told you she was using you. She wants to be married and miserable to see her son.
You are rationalizing. She TOLD you she isn't anywhere near 100% She actually told you she was using you. She wants to be married and miserable to see her son.
When someone says something, LISTEN
Actually, I'm not. I'm aware of what she says. And I also have made some phone calls and sent some emails to the mediators and an L (as well as a lot of research), so I got some advice on where to go next.
She came over with S for dinner. We didn't talk about the situation, but she started cleaning up S's room. She was pretty passive-aggressive the whole time. It went okay I guess, but I think I figured out her angle.
W just called. Still no remorse for her actions, but she was crying. She's been off her antidepressants for a month or so, and the custody thing kind of sent her over the edge, so that's why she is trying to dismiss. She says she has been thinking of hurting herself, and she's trying to decide if she needs to go to the mental hospital and check in next week. She was crying, and I know she was being real about this.
I'm not sure what to make of it. I know she's serious about this (it's happened before), but she said she just couldn't handle the divorce right now.
So it sounds like she's putting it off until she knows she can handle it better.
I kinda feel bad for her, but then...I kinda don't feel bad enough for her. I understand the depression, suicidal ideation, etc. I get that. But I also know that I can't let my guard down.
I didn't say much on the phone. I decided to just listen. She begged me not to use that information against her. I don't want to. I dunno.
I wouldnt use the information against her, but id definitely suggest she goes and gets help. If you seriously think she may harm herself, you can still show strength by supporting her in that area. Maybe a vet will have better suggestions for you though. Keep your head up Blak!
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
