Kech you are still alive and kicking! You are not drowning! Some people just take a little longer to learn how to swim then others. If you want to learn you will learn. Don't text, it's done let it go. Do something else to get your mind off of it.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
What you said wasn't bad. It let's him know that he is still not off of the hook. Would it have been better not to say it? Sure. But toothpaste out of the tube can't be put back in.
Do not send him a text. Do not ask him questions. No matter how much you point out that what he is doing is wrong won't change anything.
Just let it lie. Give him the time and the space he needs to figure his stuff out. As I told you before. Whether he chooses her or you is HIS choice. Whether or not you are okay no matter what he chooses is YOUR choice.
Choose to be okay no matter what. (That doesn't mean it won't hurt and you won't grieve. But you will have to do that whether you choose to be okay or not.)
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
kech, that is not something you tell him. It is something YOU DO.
How? Well first, you have to deal with him about your D. No way around that.
But short of that, no contact. No discussions, texts, phonecalls, emails, smoke signals, skywriting, etc that have anything to do with anything other than your D and her care. Period.
When he comes to see her, you leave. When you come home you make it clear he is it to leave. If he starts saying things in person, listen and validate. If he texts do not respond. Unless it is a direct question. Q about D, answer as short as possible. Q about R give him deflecting statements. "I am not prepared to discuss that right now." Or what R2C said above.
You're right, you do need space from him. Unfortunately as coparents you can't do that in totality.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I sent him a text saying "I dont know how were supposed to coparent like this." I know I shouldnt have. He responded saying "Im going to stop seeing this girl and after that I dont want to hear it. You didnt want to love me like I wanted to be loved so.."
I know this is a lie. I havent responded. I just wish I could have time AWAY from him. COmpletely away from him. This is hell.
This is why you shouldn't talk to him about any of this, because you cannot believe a word he says! Do you really think he is going to stop seeing her? Especially since he has denied it vehemently up to now?
He is a lying, cheating, conniving, no follow through, loser. (Sorry to be blunt, but it is what he is.)
Plus he is "the victim". Make me puke. "You didn't love me the way I wanted to be loved.... BOO HOO". You are dealing with a child. Your D is more mature than he is. At least she is honest, she cries when she wants something and laughs when she is happy. He can't even do that.
Coparent. That is it. Talk to a lawyer. Ignore all of his other lies.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
