Moving On To The Bright Side Part 7

[TBSakaJ9]

Dude.....it is amazing how much you hear about this type of stuff happening. It is nothing I ever wanted to have knowledge on.

On a side note I got hit up by a 50 yr old last night

[Holding]

On a side note, a guy I work with texted me this morning and asked if he could talk to me. I said sure come to my office at 9:00. Long story short, his W wants a D and he knows I just went through it so he as asking my opinion.

Gave out real life DB advice. I swear this $hit is an epidemic!

Since my D, I've helped 4 guys going through their own D. I've tried to pass on my DB wisdom (such as it were), but 3 have already ended in D. It's depressing at times. I enjoy being able to help guys through the process though. So much was given to me and I want to give back.

[TBSakaJ9]

Well i had to put down our 15 yr old Golden Retriever last night. I'll spare all of the details but he was struggling with his breathing so the vet said it was time. I have the girls this week so our neighbor came over to watch them while I took him up to the emergency vet clinic.

He was the first pet the X and I got about 3 months after we got married so him dying meant a little bit more. I called the X when I was at the vet to tell her what was going on. She was upset as well and started crying which shocked me but it was nice to hear her have some emotion. She sent me several pictures of him and I when we were much younger which was cool to see. Obviously she has them saved on Shutterfly or something so we had a moment together (it felt like I got a glimpse of the woman I used to know) and I put her on speaker phone when I got back to the house so we could talk to the girls about what happened (they wanted to talk to mommy). The oldest was fine the youngest took it a little harder but she really likes animals. Obviously nothing has changed but it had been a while since I had seen her tender side.

Anyway we have 1 dog left which we got about 3 months after this one and the girls are already asking me for a puppy. Not going to happen

[LH19]

Hey man I am sorry. I don't have animals but understand that it is like having another child per se.

Someday you will look back and say what a couple fuched up years.

You will also know you made it through and came out stronger.

[TBSakaJ9]

Well.....it's bittersweet. After having them for 15 years it is more of a pain than anything. Especially with it only being me 50% of the time in the house and always having to run home to let them out before dates, finding someone to watch them when I go out of town, etc. I won't be getting any more that's for sure. If the girls want any more animals they can ask their mom

[Maika]

Since my D, I've helped 4 guys going through their own D. I've tried to pass on my DB wisdom (such as it were), but 3 have already ended in D. It's depressing at times. I enjoy being able to help guys through the process though. So much was given to me and I want to give back

I really wonder what the stats are men vs. women and why both are either stepping outside the marriages or walking away.

In my friend network, I am seeing so many women who have cheating husbands and now they're dealing with the aftermath. But I also know from this board that there are plenty of women doing that as well, either cheating or walking away. I wonder what the story is with the 4 guys you've helped and other men that we've encountered.

The women are telling me how trash all men are, and I am telling them that I know that there are good men out there. But it's hard to keep up that argument when all you see is men cheating on their wives. I feel like it is just this institution of marriage that isn't working any more and whether or not it is a smart move to get into a marriage. It's hard not to be cynical with the kinds of life experiences we've had.

[TBSakaJ9]

M I think a lot of people are cynical and really afraid to put themselves out there again for the reasons you have stated. In the online world I see the same girls cycle all the time, one may disappear for a bit but most don't disappear forever. It makes you wonder how often these people are actually going on dates and are they really trying to find their next great relationship. If they are going on dates then they must be picking the wrong people since no one seems to take their profile down

[LH19]

If they are going on dates then they must be picking the wrong people since no one seems to take their profile down

I think it is because people are a lot more selective the second time around. There is no rush, most already have their kids, are self sufficient and are leading good lives.

[TBSakaJ9]

Yeah....makes sense.

It's interesting how OLD works when you can determine what the woman is looking for. I texted with the girl from last Monday yesterday, we hadn't spoke in 9 days. She agreed to meet up next week, seemed enthusiastic, and I told her I would reach out next week to firm up our plans. Our interaction my have lasted an hour or so with breaks between texting but it looks like me slow playing it might be working.

Another girl reached out to me last night that I had spoke to about a month ago. She initially blew me off I think due to a comment I had made but she hit me up last night asking why our messaging stopped happening. I felt like saying....."Woman, you could have texted me at any time instead of getting all butt hurt" but I didn't. I just played it off like nothing ever happened and asked how she was doing. SMH.............

[rexgm]

I really wonder what the stats are men vs. women and why both are either stepping outside the marriages or walking away.

I think the real question on stepping out or walking away is how many of these marriages had healthy sex lives with eachother and not in some type of sex starved marriage.