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lost8 #2815996 10/05/18 02:13 PM
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Make your own GAL plans, and if she wants to join, you can consider it. Don't wait around for her, don't invite her. Don't give her crumbs or anything. If she is ready, she will pursue you. Short of that, put her out of your mind. Based on everything you have written this week she still sounds very lost and nowhere near ready.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
lost8 #2816088 10/05/18 08:10 PM
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lost8 Offline OP
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Ugh another Friday and sure now she won’t be home this weekend. Always tough today have nothing planned because I am taking care of my son and he will be gone for a few hours as well. Have lots to do tomorrow and Sunday but man I hate this. I always feel like I am getting traction and then I fall back a bit at the end of the week.


H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
lost8 #2816090 10/05/18 08:15 PM
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lost8 Offline OP
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Any new ideas for GAL? Actually getting a lot done around the house fixing wise, cleaning out clutter and junk. Exercising, visiting parents, old friends. Not a lot of male friends locally which I gave up when we moved and need to work on that per NMMNG.


H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
lost8 #2816161 10/06/18 07:33 PM
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lost8 Offline OP
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Have had full dAy already, WW came home at 9 am, weird usually gone whole weekend. Now 3:30 and she wants to know if I have plans. Wants to do something with me. Wtf do I do?


H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
lost8 #2816162 10/06/18 08:40 PM
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My two cents would be to plan your GAL for yourself and if she wants to participate so be it. No expectations. Do it for you not for her.


H(37) W(35)
D8, D5, S3
T20, M13
BD 8/31/18
EA Discovered 9/13/18
Mediation 10/3/18
W files for D 10/12/18
W moves out 11/10/18
EA confirmed 12/25/18
D Final 1/10/19
lost8 #2816175 10/06/18 10:12 PM
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lost8 Offline OP
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We are heading back to the casino, good entertainment, lol last thing me there she went ape crap on me. Made an agreement no fighting. Dunno sometimes she tries, no expectations though.


H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
lost8 #2816312 10/08/18 01:17 PM
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Posts: 494
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lost8 Offline OP
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Survived the casino trip actually had fun. Came home and hung out at the house and went back out on Sunday to watch football games. I think I am defining insanity....you know doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? How do I break this pattern?

It is so damn hard, she made the effort to ask if I wanted to make plans with her Sat, and of course I said yes. Just having some fun together, should I just run with that and bond when I can? I avoided any type of pursuit talk or actions, it was just hanging out and having fun. No arguing, decent convo, no R talk, I don't even want to go there. She spent a lot of time Sat and Sun with me, no talking texting to anyone else. It felt good to have all that time together but nothing feels normal anymore.

Just so confused and again need to stay out of her head and what she is thinking.


H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
lost8 #2816323 10/08/18 02:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by lost8
I think I am defining insanity....you know doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? How do I break this pattern?


Drop the expectations. Do things because you want to, or not because you don't. But whatever you do, do it without any expectations involved. You can't control her. You can only control her.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
SteveLW #2816346 10/08/18 03:02 PM
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lost8 Offline OP
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Roger that, I think I got that the more I think about it. I don't expect anything, but is it the wrong thing to do to spend that much time with her at this point? I mean it was her idea, she said she wanted to make plans on Sat but wanted to do something with me and that is why she asked me first. If I was getting the sappy mumbo jumbo about not knowing what she wants, blah blah blah it would have been a crappy weekend. But we just had fun, gambling, yes drinking, talking about a lot of stuff.

I mean I categorize this with you said before about sleeping with her. Better me than OM, she said how much fun she had both days and I guess that has been way different than the interaction that we had 4 or 5 months ago.


H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019
lost8 #2816353 10/08/18 03:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,826
Likes: 234
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Only control you that should have read.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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