I have no proof of a PA or EA. Like I said I only asked if she was safe, nothing more. She answered with more than a yes. I was happy she answered with more than a yes.
She does work as a CNA doing home care. We attended a funeral for one patient.
Last text messages were exchanged 2 weeks ago. Conversation as long or longer.
If she is doing more than working... IDK and IDK what I would really do. I'd like to say I would forgive her and try to work on us. As far as I know my trip is still undisclosed. All in God's hands.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Okay, I have successfully made the trip to my daughters. Long trip by myself. Two cups of coffee and two bottles of water. Couple of stops just to stretch my legs. All in all not a bad trip.
Maybe listening to Men are From Mars was a bad idea. W didn't go with me either. However all I can think of during that time was her. A scratchy copy of the audio book probably doesn't help. As much as I would like to work on reconciliation and US, the W isn't at that point yet. I know I probably aren't either. I still have lots of work to do. I have a goal and that is to be 2.0 because me 1.0 was part of the reason we got here.
So been here for 24 hours and have spent the day with the D and granddaughters. Fed the baby, pictures and more fun stuff. Good grandpa time.
Pictures to family. More later. This doesn't feel like GAL. Mostly because I still want the MR to work.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Enjoy the time with the kids and grandkids! It sounds like a long trip so I imagine you don't get to spend that much time with them. Banish W from your thoughts for a day, and relish the time with loved ones!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Home again. Nearly 600 miles one way in a 4 cylinder... poor little engine that did. Thumbs up to my little inherited car. So I spent the time with my D and granddaughters. D boyfriend too. Not a bad guy. Actually a decent endorsement from a Dad.
Got my tattoo done. So now I can add Tattoo Model to my resume. I really won't but I technically could. I got a S T Command Delta with a circle crossing the tips. Looks really nice. Now to get through the initial care to a fully healed condition. W saw it... her reaction was close to what I expected. Not sure what the words are. Doesn't matter. I got the ink for me, my design choice and the fact it threw her a little... yeah nice little bonus. So I am glad I accepted the advice given about avoiding tying it to her too much or obviously.
D sent W a text w/o my knowledge asking her Mother why she didn't come with. Yes, D knows the sitch, has gone through one herself and wants the best for me. D has said that she thought we would work it out but has had a more pragmatic approach. I, on the other hand, if you have been reading my posts you know I am going to go to the mat fighting this. I got to be able to look in the mirror.
Stopped on my way home and visited long time family friends. They grew up with my Dad. Our families went camping together for years. Got to go fishing on the private lake in their little community and even caught a couple of large mouth for dinner. Good visit. I probably needed that more than I realized.
So when the W got home things were tense. She didn't believe me when I answered her about going by myself... and driving too. Not really her concern but I saw no need to withhold info. Yes I took a little pleasure in her discomfort and suspicion. Yeah... I know bad form. Still good to know that had an effect.
Of course I got pictures with the grandkids and D. Even attended Church in Canada. The nearest one was 60 miles one way. The border guard going into Canada looked rather like you're kidding about my reason to visit.
All in all the trip was worth it. Way too much time to think about the MR, the W, etc. The audio book was good idea. Maybe wrong title and was very scratchy. Oh well. Yes I still would like the trip to have been us. Still glad I went solo.
Thanks for the support from everyone here.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Attended church last night. I was able to show my MiL a picture of her youngest great granddaughter. She was very happy about that. However the weather had changed and it was about 15 degrees colder after church than before. She still doesn't deal with cold too well.
W and BiL attended too, different location. Only thing I am making of that is she still wants to have her faith, practice the parts she wants. Pretty sure doesn't work that way. I am viewing it as a tiny positive. A sign of second thoughts? Without more informstion... no.
In the meanwhile, continued effort on Me 2.0 and if that leads to Us 2.0 great. I'd like to get there. Faster than it will happen but that isn't under my control.
God, give me the patience to do this and thank You for the support I find here.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Yeah, I know she is. More than half our lives and I want/expected all the rest of our lives.
As for this weekend, Saturday night game session with friends. Although she might view it as more of the same. My hobby is RPGs. Social story telling with friends. Yeah, not cheap , but name a hobby that isn't cheap and time consuming and I will tell you it isn't a hobby.
Church on Sunday. Chores. Divorce paperwork... although her Lawyer isn't responding to my lawyer so what is going on is anybodies guess.
$$$ is tight so activities will be kept low expense.
Tonight and tomorrow... Reading DB, sorting stuff...
Depending on my sister, helping her get the dog his shots. Having to literally dog pile the dog to do this... he is not trained.
That is my life. Doing the GAL... not an exciting one.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
