How do you typically respond when you learn you have inadvertently inconvenienced someone?
I usually apologize, and I think that would be appropriate here too. You went into her car and moved her thing without telling her. I understand you were trying to be nice, but in fact, you made her life less convenient. It's not a huge deal, but I do think it warrants an apology.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
How do you typically respond when you learn you have inadvertently inconvenienced someone?
I usually apologize, and I think that would be appropriate here too. You went into her car and moved her thing without telling her. I understand you were trying to be nice, but in fact, you made her life less convenient. It's not a huge deal, but I do think it warrants an apology.
I went back and reread the incident, and I totally agree. I think I totally misread the account. I can understand why she might be irritated by being interfered with. Not to mention that right now, she doesnt want you in her space - so regardless of your intention, going into her personal haven (her car) without any kind of notice or awareness is kind of off limits.
Frankly, now isnt really the time to be using the 5 love languages on her, exactly. Imagine watching your wife make a cup of coffee in the morning for years, and NOW that she has asked for a divorce, you start doing it for her. It doesnt come off as caring, it comes across as fake and just drives her further away. It reminds her of all of the years that you DIDNT help.
Instead, now is a great time to learn about the 5 love languages and practice them with essentially everyone else. Friends, parents, stepson, coworkers, etc. How can you adopt the kind of mindset of showcasing your love for others?
So my WAW recently has started to post quotes on her Snapchat and they always seem to be about Not letting people hold you back, or if you’re not happy where you’re at to leave, that you don’t owe people explanation about why you’re kicking them out your life. This is one she posted the other day “For what it’s worth it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not I hope you have the strength to start over”
First of all it hurts me to think that she really is that miserable with me. But my question is, should I stop looking at her snap when she posts quotes like these. I don’t mind looking at her whenever she posts other stuff but I feel that paying attention to these is giving her too much importance.
“For what it’s worth it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not I hope you have the strength to start over”
Benjamin Buttons
I wrote down the all the words from the monolog that came from. I have read it to all my kids.
Quote
But my question is, should I stop looking at her snap
Is it helping you?
If so, keep looking. If not, stop looking.
Easy choice
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Has anyone ever personally, or known someone either on here or in their personal life know a LBS that took detachment to another level and just made peace with their WAS decision?
For example, If the WAS wants to leave and LBS just accepts their decision and tells them they agree with their decision and move on with their life?
Is it when you feel like doing this that patience comes to play or is it better to truly accepting their decision and moving on?
I believe a guy that has a men's help organization called something like good guys to great men did this. The day he and his ex signed the papers she started talking about how they had a good thing and should they go through with D. He was over it at that point and told her thanks but no thanks. So yes it happens.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Stay of social media, my WW posts all the same garbage and all you do is stew over it is all written about you. The fog their head is in is just bizarre. My wife has every opportunity to leave get a very nice settlement and go live her fantasy. Yet she chooses not to and live under the same roof. Why proclaim how miserable you are and do nothing about it but post online.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Has anyone ever personally, or known someone either on here or in their personal life know a LBS that took detachment to another level and just made peace with their WAS decision?
For example, If the WAS wants to leave and LBS just accepts their decision and tells them they agree with their decision and move on with their life?
Is it when you feel like doing this that patience comes to play or is it better to truly accepting their decision and moving on?
Thank you
Why is this an urgent question?
Generally, when people ask urgent questions on here, it is a sign that they are not remotely detached and are spinning.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
