Really looking for feedback from the Veterans out there!
We are moving into the D arena. We are trying to agree and file.
I am so done at the moment, but we exchanged thoughts on what we wanted and we are SO far apart on some.
I think we are about 75% of the way there, but that is mostly just kid stuff and easy stuff.
She is asking for a ton more than I wouldn't agree to unless forced to by a judge.
We are talking this evening to see if we can come to a solution.
Questions:
1-How far do I actually state what I know and how this could affect a judge/custody/money, etc.?
I know judges don't care about affairs, etc. Just an fyi, I have confirmed 1 that she had that dumped her hard and another one that she has ongoing now but I'm sure it will fizzle the same way. Either way, not my problem. I am talking about true health issues. W slept 14 hours per day Thu/Fri/Sat/Sun. Have proof she has been working but she "swears" she doesn't have a job. Yet she secured a new place of residence and is paying rent, utilities,etc. She admittedly (in writing and recorded) has some major disabilities that could keep her from successfully caring for our children. Again, don't want to bring this up AT ALL!!!!! Says in correspondence to the management firm that she has 2 jobs AND money in the bank to cover at least a years worth of rent. I've never seen this!
2- Having read stories, situations, etc on here. I know that D is not the end. There is some small hope (ithurts) that somewhere down the road we could R. Is this possible? I will DB through this whole thing. Is this smart? Or should I just throw in the towel and let it ride.
Sandi, if you are out there, please let me know your thoughts. You (and many, many others!) have given me so much insight into the thought process of the WW/WAW. I am looking at a totally different person who used to have values and morals but who is now "justifying" everything they do and "villifying" anything I say/do or don't say or do.
I know I can't "win" as I believe we have both lost. But how do I act through this?
Luckily, I don't think it will be long.
Help please!!!
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
Thanks guys. I do have an attorney. more looking for advice on the "non legal" side. The lawyer's will do what they will do.
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
2- Having read stories, situations, etc on here. I know that D is not the end. There is some small hope (ithurts) that somewhere down the road we could R. Is this possible? I will DB through this whole thing. Is this smart? Or should I just throw in the towel and let it ride.
Keep focusing on personal growth. Keep making and enforcing boundaries. Make decisions based on your core values.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Half that money she has squirreled away in that bank account is likely yours unless she received a gift or had it before you were married.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
