It’s been on the table but I felt that with the small positive changes that things were possibly turning around.
D4 telling me about the PDA and finding the sex emails threw everything into reverse and basically re-confirmed something that happened a long time ago - my old W is dead to me.
It’s been on the table but I felt that with the small positive changes that things were possibly turning around.
D4 telling me about the PDA and finding the sex emails threw everything into reverse and basically re-confirmed something that happened a long time ago - my old W is dead to me.
I can relate. In my mind my W is dead and gone, and i have no idea who this person is. I dont mean that in a spiteful way either, but i definitely mourn the loss of the W i knew and loved. I despise this new person.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
I'm looking at my signature and even as early as last week, I felt like things were getting better. How wrong I was. I guess I needed a reality check yesterday about what is going on and maybe give me a kick in the butt to get this over with.
I really don't know. My mind is going 100 miles per hour and I can't stop it.
I just got caught up. I'm going back to basics, so to speak. I said this months ago: you need to move back in to your home, full time, in the MBR. She is the one who wants out so let her GTFO.
She is not sure if she wants a divorce, or else she would have filed. So just be tough, and let her live with the negatives of her choice. If she wants a divorce, you and her won't talk. So cut all contact. Set a schedule with your daughter so that you don't have to talk.
No more play time, photo shoots, long talks.
Your W is right about some things, like there is nothing wrong with being single. You argued with her by saying she can't tell you how it feels. You should have just told her that if she would have taken her own advice and waited until she was actually single to date OM, that maybe she'd have some integrity. But really, you should be telling your W that she shattered you in the first place.
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W feels like she can date others since I failed.
The response here is, I don't recall that being a part of our vows. We will be true to each other until the romance ends? No, that's not the vow.
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Should I continue my plans of the photo shoot? The 15 minute lunch hangout? I knew that her being involved with OM was still possible. I just hoped that it was not.
Find something better to do. Detach and do it in a nice way.
Stop talking to your W. You are pressuring the hell out of her. I know you are hurting. You need to go find something to do and get your mind out of the hellhole it is in right now.
You don't want a divorce, you're not ready for a divorce, calm yourself down. You were just hoping things with OM weren't that bad, b/c you wanted to believe that. And it is always worse than the LBS thinks.
How are you finances intertwined with your W right now?
Calm down, go run for at least an hour. Go get a beer or dinner with a friend. You need some activity to focus on man. This will help you detach. Your wife says the wrong thing and you are bouncing off the wall. Don't give her that power. Don't let her ruin your happiness. This is your life, and you should make the best of it.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I really wish you lived near me so that we can hang, ovr. Thank you for the splash of cold water.
I knew it was going to be worse. I guess the only thing worse that is left is when I see OM engaging in PDA with W. I have seen the phone calls. Now I have seen the emails and plans for December and beyond.
We share one account. I plan on having a sit down with her and discussing separation of assets. I’m just in a high emotional place right now and I have made a LOT of mistakes yesterday. I should have known better but someone has to be slapping her out of the fog she refuses to budge from.
I have told her repeatedly that she lost a great man. And I kept saying that my 2nd will be so happy. She is out there and I am going to sweep her off her feet. All of this was said between tears and gasps of bawling.
She said we’re separated numerous times but did not drop the D bomb. I did say it was now a viable option. She fired back telling me that it’s going to be as painful as what we’re feeling now. I countered by saying that if it gives me a ticket to closing this awful chapter in my life I will do it. Her voice cracked when I said D. I needed to say it. I’m done being taken hostage to her actions.
You did not screw this up. You are just focused on the wrong things. Change your focus.
This has nothing to do with your wife. It all has to to how you handle this. How you grow as a person. How you improve your communication skills. How you set and enforce boundaries. How you become seductive.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
So she wont bring up the D and her voice cracked when you mentioned the D? She is out with OM and making plans with him? What are you going to do Mr. Plan B?
Think long and hard, meditate on it. Get centered. You are strong, make your moves from a position of strength. If your not ready then wait and build strength. I am not advocating D, I am saying be the best you.
Last edited by Twofeet; 10/22/1801:23 AM.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
I’m going to bring up separation of accounts and her finding her own place. I will not let her descecrate the house we bought with OM’s fluids any longer.
