It was a weird feeling. Is this unique or something similar happen to you at any point BD to D?
With me my ex is still physically beautiful to me. She is a runner and in excellent shape for her age. It's the other things that make her not attractive to me. Wrecking our family, constant bad moods and shortness with the kids. Hanging out with girls half her age.
You will see real soon how nice it is in your house when your mood is the one that dictates the mood of the house. Though yours are younger, their moods will generally follow your mood.
For a brief moment yesterday, when I was looking at her all I saw was flaws, a worn out, pathetic mid-30s woman. I wondered if I was a single guy and meeting her for the first time right now, would I even be physically attracted to her. Then it was like my brain kicked into protection mode and the love googles went back up and she was my beautiful W again. It was a weird feeling. Is this unique or something similar happen to you at any point BD to D?
This happens to me too. When he is happy and playing with the girls, I see the man I fell in love with. When he is scowling at me, I see the wrinkles and the too tired eyes. It is the memories that make him attractive to me ... and it is also the memories that make him ugly.
I also see him as others must see him - an attractive, athletic and successful man and ... I think ... it they only knew.
Last edited by Cadet; 11/14/1806:59 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
I told her she could eat dinner at my house and she said don't go out of your way to make me dinner. I said I am not, I am making dinner as usual for everyone and there will be plenty if she wants to eat.
TF,
This is pursuit man. Look if you don't want her back and you are totally cool with a blended family I'll do projects at your house, you do projects at my house dinner eating kind of thing that's fine. This is cake eating big time.
Let us not lose sight of the fact there is an om in the picture here. Do you want to be cooking her dinner and then she goes over to his place afterwards?
Time and space turns this around. Nothing else.
Would you suggest I just give her the boot and just handle it? Its frustrating because this is sh!t she should have handled before she moved out, and I don't feel like I should have to pick up her slack. At the same time I don't want my kids to get in trouble with school because W doesn't have her sh!t together. I can see this being cake eating too, W can just forgo doing school work with the kids on her days and just dump it off on me cause she knows I will do it. I am frustrated because I can't figure out if I am loving from a distance or allowing cake eating.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
I am frustrated because I can't figure out if I am loving from a distance or allowing cake eating.
To me loving from distance means exactly what it sounds like.
The project thing for your daughter. Sure I can drop her off at your place and you can bring her back to my house when the projects done.
I'll give you a couple examples of mine.
One night ex calls and says someone was trying to break into house. I of course went over to check it out, it was nothing and I immediately left and went back home.
Ex wanted me to get daughter on the bus on one morning because MIL couldn't do it. Didn't have any plans so I said sure as long as she sleeps at my house. I'm not going over her house to get her on the bus.
It's always being upbeat, positive, in any exchanges, accommodating at times but keeping your distance.
