I just can't win!

[Ready2Change]

and you want to talk her back into the relationship. Don't do it. I would skip the talk entirely, all that will do is make your situation worse.

Completely agree. Talking never works. Only your behavior.

you could just invite her out on a date if you want to. If she says "no" then don't ask again. If she says "yes" then go with no expectations other than having a good time with someone you just met. but do it with no expectations and don't do any relationship talk whatsoever.

Agree. I would take a break (go dark) before asking her out. Wait until she contacts you.

So to summarize, she wants to be left alone, ...it sounds like she's done, and if you love her you'll respect what she wants and let her go.

Agree.

By pursuing her you're proposing that your wishes are more important than hers, and she's going to resent you for that.

Agree.

[Ready2Change]

I text saying I will pick up my stuff this weekend and I would like to talk.

How much stuff are we talking? Hoepfully not much.

Text her this:
"Hey something came up and I can't pickup my stuff this weekend. Would you mind putting it in a box? I might be able to swing by tomorrow to pick it up."

When you pick it up. No lingering. You are in a rush someplace else.

[AnotherStander]

Twice- how long ago were you D'd and how long were you married? Not that it matters to this sitch but I'm curious if I know you from before.

My reply is, well, already in Acc's reply

So to summarize, she wants to be left alone, and you want to talk her back into the relationship.

Don't do it.

You don't have to invite her to look back on all your good times, she can do that any time she wants to, and she's choosing not to.

You don't have to ask her to decide if this is what she really wants, because she has *already* decided and taken action. She's had three weeks to think about it and hasn't changed course.

You don't have to invite her to consider her options over time and let you know, because she can do that already, any time she wants to.

You also don't have to ask her permission to go back to dating her, you could just invite her out on a date if you want to. If she says "no" then don't ask again. If she says "yes" then go with no expectations other than having a good time with someone you just met.

I would skip the talk entirely, all that will do is make your situation worse. If you want to invite her out on a date, invite her, but do it with no expectations and don't do any relationship talk whatsoever.

I also have to say that her complaint about you replacing her son on the sports team with your ex-stepson seems like an irrational complaint. Either that was an excuse to pick a fight with you because she was otherwise unhappy, or she's not very rational.

Reading your story and taking everything together it sounds like she's done, and if you love her you'll respect what she wants and let her go.

By pursuing her you're proposing that your wishes are more important than hers, and she's going to resent you for that.

[Grace21]

IMO, don't try to talk her into anything, or remind her of the good times, or try to get more reasons behind her feelings. It does no good. Reminds me of me in the earlier part of the year when I was pursuing my H and reminding him we have so many good things to build on, yada, yada, yada. I almost cringe now how pathetic I probably sounded. From what you wrote, I think in her mind the romance has worn itself out. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

[ovrrnbw]

No contact for at least 21 days. I got that from another site/book who's author was on a podcast that MWD was on. But seriously, that's your best chance at getting her back. I'd link that site b/c it's great reading material, but I think that's a no-no.