what the heck is happening, is this DB?

[burned]

Old thread.

[lost8]

You got us all fired up here!

[neffer]

Don’t let her cake eat that much B. Even consider that you are getting back some atractiveness when standing for your own. That’s the 180 you need man. B has his b@lls back with him. Yeah!

[burned]

Yeah it's kind of fun.

Responding to AS on the old thread. I think mom meant legal responsibility, not so much moral. For their part, my parents think I have a moral responsibility to drop this lady like a rotten tomato.

Next email was from my dad, who said "moving out of the house was your first mistake. Moving back in would be your second."

[burned]

I don't see how it is attractive to make her feel like her financial security is in jeopardy. I don't see how you can be attracted to someone you're furious at. But I'm doing it anyway.

[Phoenix9]

Be firm, B. You are doing great.

[neffer]

You can’t be financing her A man. If she can see past her nose...it’s about respect B. She must face reality. She is not a child being punished for bad behavior. She is a grown up adult.

[MoveFrwd]

Burned -
I know youre a pretty powerful guy. But you cant MAKE her feel anything. She is in control of her feelings. She's had MONTHS to try to figure out how to secure herself financially. Why is it your job to be her safety net until she finds another one?

Confidence is attractive. Self-assuredness is attractive. Standing up for what you believe in is attractive.

She wont come running to you today with her pants off. But, it shows the blossoming of a new, stronger person. A person that is worthy of being a partner. It will likely take a long time for that relaization to sink in to her head.

But, the way you were going wasnt working.

[burned]

Thanks. Thanks to all for the encouragement. This is just not at all what I expected to happen today. But IC said flat out, here's what you should do, stop asking me to tell you what to do. Make a choice, do it, and then report back to me how it went. Which is also what I'm doing here.

I'm just trying to be really careful about striking a balance between confident and dominant/aggressive. Am I "powerful"? Maybe. Certainly "intense" when I get something in my head. She knows that.

[burned]

Next she said, So then start sending me a check for (certain crazy amount) per month. Can't drive without headlights and tires.

I said: Since I'm paying the mortgage and you sequestered (a 4-digit sum of cash) in an account that I don't have access to, I'm confident that you'll find a way to survive without me having to send that check.

Edit: she said it's school loan money (true) and she kept it because she was afraid I'd do what I'm doing now.

Edit 2: and THEN she pulls out the big guns. I've heard this one before. "I supported you when you were in school, can't you be reasonable?"

Edit 3: "I could get a lawyer and ask for more. That's not a threat, just an option. I want you to be reasonable because we were a significant part of each other's lives."