what the heck is happening, is this DB?

[RyanHun]

Thinking about you this afternoon B. I think tonight of all nights you need to GAL to take your mind off of today's events.

[burned]

Thinking about you this afternoon B. I think tonight of all nights you need to GAL to take your mind off of today's events.

Well, what a coincidence. Tonight is my regularly scheduled board game night with a group of friends I’m really starting to like. And I’m in the weirdest mood. Good, but weird. Party time!

[ovrrnbw]

Wow there's so much going on so quickly.

I'd just stop responding to her for a few days. Take a break and settle down. I did this myself back in May. I was just so stressed and focused on my WW and it really helped me to go out of town and just not even talk to her.

I'd recommend this if you can do so. Go find a beach and a cocktail.

[MoveFrwd]

And put your phone on silent tonight

[Ready2Change]

A word of caution. She might resort to claims of violence, ask the L how to go about defending against that.

This is very important. You can also use your phone to record your interactions.

here is what I want to say: "W, I love you deeply. "

Why do you think this will work? I have not seen anyone here recommend pursing the cheating spouse. Can you show me some examples on this working? As you are doing this research, I am sure you will find many examples of this not working.

[burned]

Yep saying ILY would be indirect violation of the Prime Directive. Ain’t gonna happen. Still true though, for some perverse reason.

No need to record anything. It’s all by text and email. Haven’t seen her FTF in 2 months.

This made me think of a scene from a cool movie called Slammin’ Salmon. There’s a grouchy chef. One waiter goes into the kitchen with a piece of tuna that a customer didn’t like and the chef says WTF it’s perfect and the other guy says “Yeah he wants you to cook this better please” or something and the chef flips out and chars it. Later another guy comes in with a bowl of soup and the chef says WTF and the waiter says, “yeah I mean I told him to go F himself, what are ya gonna do, y’know” and the chef says, “I like you, you’re one of the good ones.”

Respect.

[burned]

One last reflection as I head out to GAL with my phone on Do Not Disturb.

This entire thing started when I said one word to my W that she hasn’t heard from me very in a long time. Just a text message, 2 letters: no.

[burned]

Little update. She texted this morning, sorry I used the card without your permission, I thought it was OK. I said, no worries, I wasn’t clear, and it was OK at the time. She said, well you can tell me if something ever isn’t OK. Then she said, We should proceed with the agreement we discussed, should I do the paperwork or will you? I said, I think it would be best if you did it. She said, OK. I’m sorry you’re hurting, this is really hard.

WTF? I didn’t respond to that. Just sort of confused. But clearly she is going to get the D moving so that she can get her cash. Oh well. Not feeling as confident as yesterday, but what are ya gonna do, I guess.

[MoveFrwd]

Being divorced doesn’t really change anything except the way the paperwork is filled out on your taxes. You are just as likely to get back together divorce or no.

Nice job not taking the bait on the last bit she texted you.

[burned]

That’s reassuring. But clearly I made her realize that I’m not gonna sit around. If she wants money she can ask for it and I’ll review my options in light of what she’s asking for.

I hope it doesn’t come across as defensive/passive. Also WTF is with that bait, it’s like...kind of messed up.

Also I’m really not sure about the house thing, the principal reason for doing it would be to get a reaction from her.

I get SO MOTHERF***ING FRUSTRATED with this f***ing b’tch, it’s like no matter what I do or say she finds a way to put herself back in control. Fffffffffffffff