Ginger...I didn't start it. Someone else started it to help me because I definitely need an attorney, and I CAN NOT possibly get one on my own. There's just no way.
And YES, those people DID know I wanted to save the M. They didn't know about the DB, this board, etc...but they ALL knew how much W meant to me and how bad I wanted to keep the family together.
And W had already filed, and it was supposed to already be over but at the last minute she decided to drop it so she could save up, hire an attorney, overturn the MSA that she agreed to, and take custody back.
At this point, I'm not going to drop the divorce once I start it back up. I'm seeing it through. I'm tired of being beaten down by W, insulted, hurt, and seeing S come home hurt, and be put into dangerous situations by W.
IF it changes, of course I'd give the money back.
BUT in the meantime, it's LITERALLY my only option to keep S safe.
So if you'd like to propose an alternative, I'd be willing to hear you out.
So much for raising funds. W was able to hire an attorney today and refile.
Her petition is about the same as before, wanting 50/50, wanting me to pay child support, etc. There are still safety issues, and now I'm out of time to get the money for an attorney.
And her attorney filed it incorrectly. I have an appointment with my own today, and will likely be retaining her service.
W's aunt offered to loan me the full amt for the D. She also gave me a big chunk today as well to help. It looks like this will be happening.
I stayed home from work today and kept S home with me so that W couldn't take him and refuse to give him back. I don't believe her atty knows about the previous case.
I appreciate everyone's support during this ongoing process. You all have helped me keep my head on straight more than you all know, and that's been invaluable to helping me stay focused on taking care of S. So for what it's worth...thank you all very, very much.
I don't know what will happen down the road. But I do know that this is about to get very, very messy. I really wanted to avoid this...but it doesn't seem that it's avoidable.
Got served today. She's also trying to make me pay her legal fees.
Last time we spoke face to face a couple weeks ago, she said she would be glad to give me time to be financially okay before filing again. I didn't believe her. Now she's proven that she didn't mean it.
Refiled, demanding I pay her fees, she knew I just sold my old car and paid off a credit card. I think she's now just trying to railroad me.
Fortunately...I have a plan.
I just hope the fundraiser keeps going well. I'm at $700 so far.
Just stopping by to say hi to everyone...it's been a bit, but things are actually going pretty well right now.
I've learned that the statement "DB isn't for your the other partner, it's for YOU" is absolute truth, and I'm honestly grateful that I found this forum and the DB book.
Did it fix the m? No.
But it has DEFINITELY helped me despite all of my ups and downs through this process. And for that, I'm always going to be grateful.
This evening, my atty is drawing up my counter-petition. I've gone no contact (except where our S is involved) after finally hitting my breaking point with her abusive behavior towards me. And I know that sounds weird, but now, I find that I'm in a far, far better place mentally and emotionally than I was even before W moved out.
In about two months, this entire drama should be over.
Atty looked over my case, the abuse, the MSA, and the fact that W brought S to live with me a couple months ago and said "this is going to be an easy case." So at least I'm going to be able to find some peace when this is all over.
I've learned a lot about myself throughout this process. I've learned to deal with grief in a more constructive way by using it to push me to better myself. I've learned that sometimes things are beyond my control, and I've learned that there's always a point where, no matter the hell you've been through, you can learn to let it go and just walk away from it.
So now, I've found a new battleground to make my stand on...being the best dad I can possibly be. And so far, things are going far better than I had expected. I know there are going to be some really difficult times ahead, and I welcome them because they are another chance to go above and beyond for my S.
I may not have changed W's mind, but I have learned to accept what I can, stand up for myself and my S when I can't accept things, and fight hard to make sure that his life is the best life I can make it be.
At first, I was empty, crushed, hopeless. Now I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I know that despite the hell, I'm stronger than I was before.
And for that...I thank you all.
My updates may be slower, but I do plan to check in now and then as I work my way through the final phase of this D, and I hope that my updates will be good news.
I've learned a lot about myself throughout this process. I've learned to deal with grief in a more constructive way by using it to push me to better myself. I've learned that sometimes things are beyond my control, and I've learned that there's always a point where, no matter the hell you've been through, you can learn to let it go and just walk away from it.
So now, I've found a new battleground to make my stand on...being the best dad I can possibly be. And so far, things are going far better than I had expected. I know there are going to be some really difficult times ahead, and I welcome them because they are another chance to go above and beyond for my S.
I may not have changed W's mind, but I have learned to accept what I can, stand up for myself and my S when I can't accept things, and fight hard to make sure that his life is the best life I can make it be.
At first, I was empty, crushed, hopeless. Now I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I know that despite the hell, I'm stronger than I was before.
This is great stuff blakmac! I hope that all the newcomers read this and realize the power they have to control their own destinies. Congrats on making it this far!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
