Sht hurts. I should of known it would end this way months ago. I basically said then we divorce. It’s not what I want but she’s so far from wanting to be in a relationship with me. What else can I do.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Sht hurts. I should of known it would end this way months ago. I basically said then we divorce. It’s not what I want but she’s so far from wanting to be in a relationship with me. What else can I do.
STOP REACTING TO WHAT SHE SAYS.
This has been your biggest problem all along.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Yea maybe you’re right Steve. Am I supposed to just stay married to someone who doesn’t want to see or talk to me. D4 asked me to pick her up from school which is near w house. Still here now she left basically ran away to the gym because that’s what makes her feel good. Really don’t want to go home by myself right now. But I guess I should get the F out of here. Maybe I’ll tell w I’m picking up D4 school is at the gym.
I guess I should just leave and go dark. D4 will be ok even though she constantly asks to FaceTime me and see me and not mom
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Ok I’ll stop reacting to what she says but nothing is changing. She just texted me what’s your plan. Are you staying to see her after school?
Just be out and say no I’m busy?
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Going to get D4 from school. Going to RE read initial posts
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
When seeing w just act calm cool happy and barely acknowledge her? She is drawn to guys who are unavailable. Shouldn’t ignore her right?
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Am I supposed to just stay married to someone who doesn’t want to see or talk to me.
DID, Some people have asked me this question recently and how I am doing it. The answer I have is what difference does it make? Really what does it matter if you are still legally married or not? Unless you plan on jumping in with someone else and getting re married it impacts nothing.
I would never punish your D because of your W. So by all means go see your D.
" Am I supposed to just stay married to someone who doesn’t want to see or talk to me."
No. You aren't. But don't make a decision when you are emotional based on something your W said. Do you know how many times my W flipped-flopped between staying and going?!? I had to be balanced, steady and sure through her flip-flopping.
Read sandi's rules again. Institute them.
Most of all, do not let emotions govern your actions.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Appreciate you Steve and everyone here. This resource and this reading the last hour or so has been extremely helpful. I have a hard time reading and incorporating the reading into my action but I’m full DB detach let go of control mode. I’m still attached the sexual thoughts of her affect me way too much. Shed some tears today but it’s mostly when I think of seeing D4 only half the time or missing things with her. Wish wife would commit to working through the hard times but she just can’t handle it right now. I accept that and where she is. She really can’t deal with the hard conversations. We have MC Monday. Going to try to get there just to talk about accepting her and respecting her journey. No more pushing my communication or healthy relationship stuff. Just let go detach continue my growth positive loving mindset higher frequency vibrations positive vibe and acceptance.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Appreciate you Steve and everyone here. This resource and this reading the last hour or so has been extremely helpful. I have a hard time reading and incorporating the reading into my action but I’m full DB detach let go of control mode. I’m still attached the sexual thoughts of her affect me way too much. Shed some tears today but it’s mostly when I think of seeing D4 only half the time or missing things with her. Wish wife would commit to working through the hard times but she just can’t handle it right now. I accept that and where she is. She really can’t deal with the hard conversations. We have MC Monday. Going to try to get there just to talk about accepting her and respecting her journey. No more pushing my communication or healthy relationship stuff. Just let go detach continue my growth positive loving mindset higher frequency vibrations positive vibe and acceptance.
Hang in there Did. Remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel! One day at a time. Try not to worry too much (seeing D half time, etc) about things that haven't come to fruition yet.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
