Uncertain of What I Have

[Bo562]

R2C,

Gotcha.

Revised: Questions she might ask:

Where are you going?

Is anyone else going with you? If so, who?

Why did you / have you not mentioned our anniversary?

[Ready2Change]

What would your responses be to each of these?

[marina7]

Bo,

Your get some great advice here.

About calling you by first name... I also ask myself that one.
W in 10yrs have called me M always now I am first
and last name.

Sounds weird W calling me by my whole name. But I just
don't get it.

Is hard trying to not connect with W but I know you will get through it.

Stay strong and firm always.
As long kids are taken care of your good.

Protect your finances please and kids first always.

If W starts questioning you where you going or with Who.

Keep it cool and calm and say you wanted this. This is what it is
to be single. And maybe remind her.

If am correct W you said where done we no longer together.

Your W might give you guilt trip or give you a blank look
Simply Walk away.
And always be polite to W.

Kill W with kindness always smile and chin high.

Now will you break down yes We all have we all cry and yell if
You have too. Just don't do it in front of W.

Don't let W see you.

My W finally said if you ever cared you didn't cry or say anything.
And till this day I don't show her

Remember one day at a time

[Bo562]

Interesting....looked through our joint checking account online (I do so at least weekly)

What do I see?

I saw that within the last week an online transfer to a checking account in her name (in her married name).

Amount is enough to serve as an opening deposit (just a bit more than minimum required to start account).

Not been told of account yet.

What should I do? Of course will monitor joint account tightly to see if anything else goes there.

Guess good thing I see IC this week

[Adam04]

Hey Bo, not sure how long you got for IC but hopefully others with more experience on subject of protecting yourself financially will be able to give you advice before you see IC. You may want to consider getting an account for yourself and take some action. Would hate for something to happen and she takes it all... then what could you do? Don't want to alarm you but you do want to think about it.

[Bo562]

Adam,

I see IC on Tuesday.

I’ve had a checking / savings account with a local credit union for the last few years—the W knows about all that, but she has no access to any of it.

I’ve thought about this—if she pulls anything funny financially, then I just take my payroll direct deposit to my account. What I also did a couple of weeks ago is: because of the new tax laws earlier this year, I got an extra $75 per paycheck, which I DD’ed to a joint savings account we have. However, in light of our Oct. talk, I made the decision to move that $75 to one of my credit union accounts—something told me just in case.

[Bo562]

Marina—thanks.

I didn’t say that W said we’re done and no longer together.

She just said a couple of times that she wasn’t sure she still wanted to be married to me.

Still here, still wears wedding rings (FWIW)

[Bo562]

Marina,

Also wanted to add: doing what I can for the kids.

Spent most of today carrying around YS (that’s his thing—been doing that since second day back from hospital, he loves when I do that and I’ll do it as long as I can)—what I take solace in is at least one person under our roof wants to fall asleep in my arms.

[Bo562]

W sure hearts the sex toys.

Pretty sure I came across one near her side of the bed earlier tonight.

‘Most couples don’t have sex as often after a birth.’ ‘Don’t take it personally.’

Liar Face.

[Phoenix9]

Bo,

I’ll try to read your stuff when I get a chance. I saw you posted something in my thread about my comment on W being someone else. Make that a constant thought. You will believe it if you reinforce it. If you reinforce it, it will become easier for you to detach and really work on YOU. It’s a slow process, but it will be worth it. I’m already seeing signs.

Keep going.