DB again... too late or last strike

[JB42]

W continues to contact me more. FaceTime me with D4 twice after work. Sent me audio clip love you dad goodnight. I know W is pulling the strings here. Not sure what she’s doing I guess trying to keep me hanging around. I’m not reaching out. Not liking or thanking her for the audio clips or saying anything back.

I don't think it's against DB to respond to your kid - I agree with not thanking your W, but sending an audio clip back *specifically* to your D4 only strengthens your relationship with D4. Just my 2 cents.

[ovrrnbw]

I dunno JB42,

have you read all of the posts and threads from Did?

He needs to close down communications with his W. His W will see this response, even if only addressed to his daughter, as pursuit. It's his face going to his W's phone. It's temptation for Did to pursue. Did does not need temptation because he is an a delicate emotional state. He is a good man going through a hard time.

Plus, Did needs emotional space right now. He's wound up tighter than hell and interacting with his W is the primary reason why. She knows how to pull his strings.

Did, please don't respond to your W's facetime. It is your W, not your daughter calling.

[Ginger1]

His kid is being used as a pawn. The child is not making these request, I am sure (no offense, but I know at 4, my daughter was focused on who she was with and the tolerance for the phone a very short period of time. any face time was almost forced). It actually is not healthy for the kids to have these random communications while with the other parent if they aren't asking for it. They should really be present with the parent they are with. I have been at this divorced parenting for 11 years since my daughter was 6 months old. I've learned a thing or 2, have done a lot of research and spoke with therapists.

If your DAUGHTER really wants to facetime on her time, and it's not your W using your child as a pawn, then schedule times. It shouldn't be random.

Your W is playing some cruel control games at the expense of your D, and it is not right.

[Did]

I would guess she FaceTimes when she is cooking as if it’s tv. Thinking better for D4 to talk to dad or family then watch a 30 min show. Doesn’t matter this little stuff like FaceTime. I called back an hour after she called this morning. I will stay on the path.

[Ginger1]

I would guess she FaceTimes when she is cooking as if it’s tv. Thinking better for D4 to talk to dad or family then watch a 30 min show. Doesn’t matter this little stuff like FaceTime. I called back an hour after she called this morning. I will stay on the path.

No, not true. It is better for them to be present in their current environment. but it seems like she is using her FT all the time.

This little stuff like face time matters. She is using it and your daughter as a pawn for your attention. It's pretty messed up.

[Ginger1]

However, if that is the chosen time of the day for facetime, then stick to the schedule. Make sure your W isn't in the picture anywhere,

[Did]

Thanks Ginger I will work toward that scheduled facetimes.

W texts me I got a charlie horse in my neck at 4am and thought I was going to be stuck and not able to move or get up.

No response... or just hope you're ok?

[Davide]

Did,

I don't chime in much, but I have followed your thread from the beginning. Why do you keep asking what to do? Everyone on here has been very clear about only responding to things you need to about your D. Your W is constantly fishing to make sure you are still on the line. Don't take the bait.

[AnotherStander]

^^^Agree with Davide. Not exactly a freakin' health emergency there.

[Did]

I guess its just the same old desire to be a good guy and get her back... nice her back obviously wont work... so just ignore it. AS you told me to ask here what to say... so I feel the urge to send some brief polite response even just sorry...
but say nothing instead...