I think for me the biggest problem is that I heard it from D8. If she had told me upfront I would of been ok with it. I think. I'm hoping for option 1. Is there a poll option here?
And LH...thanks for the 2x4 yet again...Btrow too...
Last edited by petri; 12/16/1805:58 PM.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
There is no voting option but if option 1 is out of the question, option 3 seems financially better than option 2, doesn't it? (I assume stop paying would mean foreclosure?)
You are giving her too much power of your life. You let her control the house situation and you let her control your emotions (which she now know...) .
I know it sux and hurts that she brought him there but there really isn't anything you can do to prevent it so let her see that it doesn't bother you (fake it till....)
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
I think she'll go with option 1 when I present her options 2 and 3. Option 2 does mean foreclosure and that would mean also that her parents lose their cottage since it's one collateral in our debt.
Last edited by petri; 12/16/1807:44 PM.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Hi Petri, I'm sorry to hear about OM coming to your house. That must be such an invasive feeling. Did he stay for a few days or was it more like he stepped in for a few minutes and left? Perhaps it doesn't and shouldn't matter, but it would seem there's a difference between him staying for an extended period when your ex-wife agreed that he wouldn't and him just standing inside the door while she goes to grab something and they leave again.
I'm not sure what's best regarding the house except that it's important to take into account how any decision will affect your kids. This must be so traumatizing for them. Perhaps you can find out what they're thinking and try to do what will have the least impact on them.
He was here for a couple of hours or so. It's not that she brought him here. It's the fact that I had to hear it from D8. XW wanted to handle this in the adult way. For me the adult way would of been to ask me if this was ok that OM comes our house and she could of make a decision based on that. For me to know in advance that this is happening. I do give credit to XW that she hadn't introduced him as her BF but just as a friend.
I also hope that we can deal issues with the house without it having too much negative affect on the kids. I think that kids want to have some change in things and for us to have our own apartments.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
