Appreciate the attempt at the tough love...but me calling her out is now to the fait of the courts. So no BS...
If you don’t have kids....suggest not offerring your opinion or advice....because until you are a parent...you won’t understand.
There is no pursuit or control going on from my end...just looking out for the well being of S. Telling S to “hit books” is one thing...but when he says he wants to die...you don’t mess around. So once again...no kids...no advice.
Last edited by EZdozit; 12/23/1812:33 AM.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
The crazy has only gotten crazier in the last few days. Had S over weekend thru Christmas Eve evening. s and I attended Xmas eve church services and then took him over to WAW. Admittedly is was tough to pass him off to W and not be apart of the Christmas morning festivities as a family unit, but such is my reality. Spent Xmas day with my sister in laws folks along with my parents.
Christmas night is when the wakadoo occurred. Received a FaceTime from S while he was in W car driving somewhere. I was excited to see S and asked him what he got from Santa, etc. I noticed he had an army costume on and asked if it was one I got him....he said no and that W got it for him. S then asked if I would ever teach him to shoot like his cousins ..(A buddy took me to shooting range last week to relieve stress and S was excited to hear about it). I then proceeded to say that I discussed the possibility of getting a 9mm from my brother earlier that day. After I told s this...S gleefully says, “Mommy!!! Daddy may get a gun!” We talked a bit further and then ended the call thinking nothing more would come of it. Not once did I talk with W or ask about their whereabouts etc.
About 20 minutes after FT call, I get a FB messenger message from SIL saying W wanted to talk with her. She asked me if it would be ok to do so....W then started texting SIL about her opposition of me “buying” a gun and telling SIL she feared for her safety. W then gaslit SIL telling her she didn’t want to involve her....but then made proclamations that I have threatened to her in the past....SIL asked for details and wanted to know how my consideration of possibly getting a firearm equated to her fearing for her safety. W advised SIL she didn’t want to provide details to further involve her...while evidently trying to involve SIL only proclaiming a firearm would only elevate things. Long and short, W attempted to plant seed in further character assassinating me.
SIL sent me screenshots of the text exchanges. I then texted W asking how my consideration of possibly getting a gun relates to her fearing for her safety and why she reached out to one of my family members to infer I pose a risk to her. W flat out denied any of this occurred...and just said she felt my convo with S had to do with her..(WTF)
Given that I have the text exchanges which clearly captures wife in trying to manipulate the narrative, I forwarded to my attorney. This is now the 4th instance in which I have flat out caught W in trying to deceive and manipulate situations to make me appear in a negative manner. The others are concerning....but to infer that I could be capable of violence I think crosses the line. I’ll let My attorney run with it so he can firmly establish consistent pattern of W behavior and out her character in question.
Then during child exchange last night, W rolls up in a random SUV at my gym. I didn’t pay attention to it, but W then says she’s borrowing and then gleefully announces she had a fender bender with her Jeep. I didn’t acknowledge but since I’m still carrying her auto it didn’t take me long to see what’s going on. I got home and sure enough, W had filed a collision claim. I got details of incident from claims adjuster...and it’s reported wife rammed into another car at stop light claiming she lost track of the wheel while she was digging for something in her purse. I let it lie...but the damage claim will likely exceed the overall value of the car....so who knows. I’ll let this play out, but made my carrier aware I’m in the D process and I was still forced to carry W. Hopefully it won’t impact my rates too bad.
My belief is W is making Hale marry last ditch attempts to grab primary custody of S. I will maintain my calmness while she continues reeling off the cliffs.
Hosting my family this evening for our family Xmas.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
Been almost 2 weeks since last post, a lot has happened. Had s for both NYE and NY day. Spent holiday with my folks. It was a nice relaxing and uneventful time.
Had court hearing on 2nd to address 2 of the motions W had filed. The first to have me forcibly removed from the marital house was dismissed in quick order. Captured W in blantant lies on 3 occasions and had evidence exhibited to prove. Overall hearings went in my favor. W has continued to resort to try and manipulate issues and stories from our past to mutual friends. Other motion was ruled to a middle grounds. During hearing I had no emotion or feelings about W. Just disgusted that her waywardness is still in full effect,
Have maintained my GAL activities and have received more positive attention from the ladies then I ever have. I have gone to coffee with a couple of women over the holiday break. Both have pressed an interest in dating further. I have yet to do anything and have remained true to MR from a physical perspective. I am starting to think if something happens I won’t prevent it anymore. After the last 10 months and the treatment I’ve been subjected to from WAW as if I were a subhuman....I wanna experience the companionship that I’ve lacked over the last 2+ years. I never thought I was in a SSM...but upon further reflection, I was for the latter part of our MR.
It appears D is still a ways out, as another status hearing was scheduled for early March.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
With as caustic a sitch your dealing with, it would be smart to not date anyone until the D is done. Don't add any potential fuel to your W fire. Protect yourself and your S.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
So made a decision to completely abandon any dialogue with women until this decree is done..I’m too far into this to give any ammo to W that could impact my 50/50 with S.
I do believe w attorney is abusing the situation and taking advantage of WAW mental state to capitalize on this process. W has been coached to take any and everything communication wise thru her attorney. I also see that at every stage, it has been W attorney’s guidance and strategy that has backfired on her at every turn.
I wish there was a way to reach out to W call the situation for what it is...but know I’m the last person she would be mindful to. The wasted $$ hurts both of us...but mostly S. This is trending on exceeding $50k in legal fees from both sides....
Has anyone been in a similar sitch to where attorneys just seem to be exchanging jabs and driving up fees? Any suggestions on how to reach out to W?
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
Made a huge fruedean slip last night....sent a USA Today Op-Ed from Jan 9th regarding Divorce to W inadvertently..
I had sent this link to a couple of folks IRL that know my sitch well and had article in my current “copy” on my iPhone as it explained my situation to a tee.
W sent a text this morning under pretense of S7 that he just wanted to say hi and that he loves me...following a heart and kiss emoji.
I feel it was a major temp check..
I replied a couple hours later just stating that I felt the same...she responded within 10 seconds and said “done”
Narcissistic behavior I can’t understand
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
Lawyers have continued to ping pong back and forth over nonsensical items only further driving up legal expenses.
House got under contract over the weekend at just under asking price. Close on March 7th.
I have requested to get decree finalized ASAP as there in now nothing further that should prevent from delaying.
W has continued to be ice cold, however since house has been sold, it appears to be softened. Too little to late. Her attorney made things so decisive that she went along with has severely damaged my ability to forgive the pain and destruction that has insued. It will take me several years to get past the wreckage she’s done to my son and I.
S7 continues to struggle with D but has improved remarkably in his academics.
I have completely let it go and given it to god.
The water faucet has turned on high with regard to attractive and amazing women hovering around me. I haven’t engaged in anything past a cup of coffee or lunch....but am excited for what lies ahead.
I’m in final negotiations with a German company to become their exclusive representative to sell/market their products into the US and will have a possible ownership stake.
Next steps are to locate my next place to live over next 6 weeks.
Hope to have decree finalized soon and finally close this chapter so I can start the next.
I am fully AMOAFWL....and I have several upgrades I look forward to begin the interview process with to potentially become the next Mrs. EZ.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
Congrats EZ! It sounds like you are in a great place professionally and personally. Isn't it exciting to be able to open yourself up to the possibilities out there?
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Davide, Thanks! It does feel great to have an essential clean slate on life and knowing I have the tools to love a fulfilling life regardless of the circumstances!
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
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