#9 - Keeping up on 180s......self-differentiation.

[SteveLW]

Previous thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2820005#Post2820005

Calling this keeping up on 180s and self-differentiation. These are my two daily goals. When the old man starts to creep up, I have to beat him back down! 180s need to be permanent. Staying in control of my own happiness is a must! Onward and upward.

[neffer]

That´s the attitude man!

My best wishes for W, D and you bro!

[ovrrnbw]

Some of you might ask, why was she doing this? Remember, she was a WW. A WAW would probably have taken different steps, but she was trying to have her cake and eat it too.

How many WAW's do we actually see? It's like almost every WAS is WW.

[SteveLW]

We've had a few. I do think the majority of WAWs are WWs. But there are some that are just done, ready to move on, and don't want anything from the LBH (other than the usual child support, etc).

[Ready2Change]

And yet I am still cognizant of being self-differentiated. If she were to BD now my reaction would be so much different than it was a year ago.

So if she were to BD, how would you react?

[Ready2Change]

.....I did get turned down for sex on Saturday, only the second time since....

When I get turned down, I go into DBing mode. I then wait for her to initiate....I then make her work hard to get it....I get her turned on until she is begging...It is really fun.

So Steve, can you do this? Can you get her completely desiring you? No sex for her until some "French kissing" during foreplay?

[SteveLW]

And yet I am still cognizant of being self-differentiated. If she were to BD now my reaction would be so much different than it was a year ago.

So if she were to BD, how would you react?

"I'll help you pack."

[SteveLW]

.....I did get turned down for sex on Saturday, only the second time since....

When I get turned down, I go into DBing mode. I then wait for her to initiate....I then make her work hard to get it....I get her turned on until she is begging...It is really fun.

So Steve, can you do this? Can you get her completely desiring you? No sex for her until some "French kissing" during foreplay?

LOL R2C, I get it. I do. But I am not sure we are quite there yet. Give me another year!

[Ready2Change]

LOL R2C, I get it. I do. But I am not sure we are quite there yet. Give me another year!

YOu think you can hold out that long..LOL

[Ready2Change]

I believe it is one red flag. Out of all the woman I have been with, frenching was always before penetration. In my world, it is part of the foreplay that turns my lady on.