I agree 100%, I think the road to R is much longer for the WW because they have truly gone through a mental breakdown to get to the point that they have become a WW. We are much too accepting to Ring because that is the goal right? But in reality the goal might be to find ourselves so that we know what we truly want in a relationship. We see things being all peachy but can only imagine that their doubts loom larger than ours. I am trying to remember that and continue to work on me so I can do whats best for myself and kids.
It is hard to believe that we have these thoughts after being M this long. I'm just not sure this is what I want.
Question, 18 year anniversary is this Friday, I have already hinted that I see no reason to celebrate although she has brought it up that we are doing much better, blah blah blah. I have read others that have hit this date, what are your thoughts on how to approach it?
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
I agree 100%, I think the road to R is much longer for the WW because they have truly gone through a mental breakdown to get to the point that they have become a WW. We are much too accepting to Ring because that is the goal right? But in reality the goal might be to find ourselves so that we know what we truly want in a relationship. We see things being all peachy but can only imagine that their doubts loom larger than ours. I am trying to remember that and continue to work on me so I can do whats best for myself and kids.
It is hard to believe that we have these thoughts after being M this long. I'm just not sure this is what I want.
Question, 18 year anniversary is this Friday, I have already hinted that I see no reason to celebrate although she has brought it up that we are doing much better, blah blah blah. I have read others that have hit this date, what are your thoughts on how to approach it?
We had been Ring when we hit our 19th anniversary in April. I bought a non-romantic gift, and we did the usual dinner out. If we hadn't been Ring I think we would have done family dinner with our D.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Well I don't know what we are doing other than "better", I don't see Ring just yet. Will be a tough call. She has pre-surgery Dr appts that day and we committed to some shopping for kids for xmas. Will probably grab some food and drinks while we are out but I by no means see any gift buying for her.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Hey bro, relax a little. Take your time. Don’t let some negative feelings interfere with the course you both are sailing. Those are feelings, right? Consider the time of the year, the BD anniversary... get your PMA, it’s over there!
Relax Stevie, look at the horizon ahead. You are doing good. The boat is sailing.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Hey bro, relax a little. Take your time. Don’t let some negative feelings interfere with the course you both are sailing. Those are feelings, right? Consider the time of the year, the BD anniversary... get your PMA, it’s over there!
Relax Stevie, look at the horizon ahead. You are doing good. The boat is sailing.
Thanks neffer. I agree with you. I am not going to do anything rash. I guess this is the way she felt about us last year? I didn't expect this at all. I thought I was steering the boat, but now I feel like I am holding on to the back of it being pulled along.
You're right, feelings. Which is why I need to just take time to think.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
One other thing.....I hated being in bed with her last night. I almost slept somewhere else. When she went to bed at the same time as me I was disappointed. I also found myself sleeping as close to the edge of the bed as I could.
It's like it's last year..... But I am her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Wow, exactly the same as me....I am also finding it harder and harder to have physical contact with her. It's like my fog has cleared and I am so disgusted by her actions that I can't stand to be intimate with her. I almost think I am using alcohol to be present in the bedroom. Bad I know but still sorting through this.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
By the way, I am stepping away from commenting on other people's sitches right now. I am finding my reaction to other peoples posts as being jaded and flippant.
Merry Christmas everyone.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Sometimes cycles go up, sometimes go down. Coming from the other side let me tell you that I go into those too. But we choose the course and must maintain that direction. Take your time my friend. Thank you for all your work here.
My best wishes go for your D, W and for you.
Merry Christmas dear brother.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
