Dealing with a WW Pt3

[SoTorn]

Oh man. Your WW sounds awful. Don't worry, detach and focus on yourself and the kids. Shes trying to provoke a reaction to justify her affair and hate.

Yeah she is. Honestly not all of the time but yes when these days come up it turns into an all day attack on me. I just stayed gone yesterday. For the most part I ignore her. Slid back on the DBing the last few days by letting my emotions get the best of me where I say something out of anger. I don't yell or anything, I just say something like "How could you do this to our family?" That is not DBing. I need to get control of that.

Other than that I am doing a good job on GAL and 180 on other things. My R with our kids is great. I am doing great with my physical fitness. I need to detach more. I am going to start staying away from home when WW is there. I will be going to the gym after work, then maybe dinner for myself and then maybe even a movie alone.

[SoTorn]

So question. WW got me a ticket along with my children to go see a movie tomorrow. I don't feel like its right because its fake. We are not a family right now. I truly don't feel like I should go.

Anyone have thoughts on that? Should I go? Its not a date, but its mom and dad going to a movie. WW is still head deep in the A.

[Davide]

I wouldn't go. But I don't have kids, so it is easier for me to say that. Still, if your gut is telling you not to go, I wouldn't.

[SoTorn]

I spend a ton of time with my kids already. I just went to a movie last night with S11. Had a little "incident" with my car ugh. Broke the front valence on my beautiful car ugh. WW hates the car by the way. One of the many things she tried to blame for her A.

Anyway, no I don't want to go because I don't think its genuine. I feel that it will create tension for our kids.

[SoTorn]

Journaling

I went to the gym right after work yesterday, spent about two hours there working out and sitting in the hot tub. There is a very nice lady that I met and we have become friends. She knows my sitch and is not pursuing me romantically in any way. Unfortunately, this lady went through the same thing. Very nice lady and she is going to come down and have dinner with me this weekend. I set a boundary that I am not looking for an R right now and that I am more than happy to make new friends and she agreed.

I went to dinner where my D19 works again. I will probably do that a few times per week. D19 works at a very nice bistro and her manager is a nice guy and therefore I get about 75% off. High end Italian dinner for $6.00? SURE!! lol.

After dinner I went and watched Clint Eastwood's new movie. Its about a WH that becomes a drug mule lol. Good movie. I got home and everyone was asleep. I didn't see WW at all yesterday and plan on doing the same today and as much as I can. Fortunately, I get home earlier than WW does and therefore if I want to do something with the kids I tell them in advance, go pick them up from home before WW gets home and then have one of them just text her saying "We are with dad".

Christmas Eve I am going to my moms home with the kids. Christmas Eve we usually read The Night Before Christmas to the kids together. WW still wants to do this. My kids have asked that we just have a normal Christmas morning. They want both WW and I to get up and just go through the usual motions for gift opening. I think we can handle that cordially. WW went nuts and spent way too much on the kids. I feel that she is overcompensating. WW never buys this much stuff. I bought them all two gifts and they know. Kids just told me as long as I am loving them they are loving me and that is all that matters.

I was planning on going to my fathers for Christmas. My dad knows about my sitch. My dad was a WH. Unfortunately, he has not been very supportive of what I want to do. Keeps interjecting his ideas on what I should do to the point where I am avoiding him. I honestly may not go to his house for Christmas. My kids will go on their own, but I dont want to be there. So I may work. $$$

[SoTorn]

I got off of work and went straight to the gym. I have plans tonight with a friend at 8. So I get home and WW is in S11s room cleaning.

No dinner cooked. WW used to cook dinner every night. She is a great cook. S11 says he is hungry. WW cooked spaghetti last night. But I stayed gone all night as I have been.

WW asks why I am feeding s11 spaghetti. I said he is hungry. WW said she had planned to cook again but nobody is every home and I never come home so she doesnt see what the point is.

I validated her efforts. I do like to eat at home and if she wants to cook I will eat honestly. I just said I'm home now. WW said you never answer your texts so theres no point in asking you if you're going to be home.

Yes it's a temp check. However I do like eating.

Is it ok if I tell WW that she can text if I'll be home after work to see if she has to cook?

[SoTorn]

Went out with a friend to watch a Christmas choir. Had a great time.

Pro tip. GAL works wonders on ones self.

[SoTorn]

Worked most of the day. Came home and WW was cooking dinner. She is a great cook. We sat at the table. I sat at the head. Very limited conversation about Christmas plans and that's it. WW looked like she had been crying.

WW and I were home all evening. I was busy washing clothes. Took D16 to Starbucks. Got back and stayed in MBR listening to music. WW watching a movie on the couch which is odd for her as shes usually glued to her phone in her room.

When i got back WW wanted a sip of my mocha. D16 asked if she wanted something and she declined. I let her have some. I drank a bit more and gave it to her. Guess she wanted something after all.

I have a very weird feeling. I think my WW may be pregnant with OMs child. Yes I asked and she denied. That would sure help me move on fast. That would probably destroy the kids too. WAW stopped drinking. She has been wearing baggy clothes besides to pilates. I may just be thinking weirdly but I'm honestly not sure. I guess we'll see.

Anyone on these boards have that happen? I'm fixed so no way it would be mine.

[SoTorn]

So I worked today. I get home and WW comes in my room and tells me to stop moping and stop making sad comments. I literally just walked in the door and went into MBR. I dont want to be around her.

So WW invites me to dinner with S11. I declined. So she is sitting upstairs and asks why I wont go to dinner with her that a bite to eat wont hurt. I just responded saying that I just dont want to hang out with her. Which is the truth. I really dont know what else to say without sounding rude. I have zero desire to do anything with someone that is actively betraying me and our family.

[SoTorn]

I'm really friggin sad today. Watching my WW sit there and pass out gifts to our kids, watching their faces trying to be happy for Christmas when they know this is our last family Christmas together absolutely breaks my heart. I'm having a very hard time.

I was supposed to go to my dads house and decided not to because all he does is talk about my WW.