I have a sneaking suspicion that once I am back in the picture, she will demand I move out because I make her scared and uncomfortable,
This is a common tactic. Do not EVER be alone with her if you believe she will claim this. Have a friend alone with you, your phone can be a witness. Your kids can also be witness, not that you want that. Last thing you want is a restraining order against you.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Licked finger in the wind. I usually tell other posters their odds are 50/50 AT BEST if they DB well.
LOL, so I like the science behind your logic but Steve, man I don't remember getting ANY kind of odds from you back when my sitch started! :-)
Sorry b! I try not to state. Usually I only do in terms of comparing pressure and pursuit vs. DBing. DBing at best gives you 50/50 (is usualy what I say) while pressure and pursuit will virtually guarantee you'll end up D'd.
Many have taken issue in the past with my 50/50 number. I truly believe in most sitches it is about 50/50 IF (and this is a big IF) the LBS doubles down hard on DBing and does it really well.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I normally say that sitches start at 50/50. Some have circumstances that make them have better odds. Some lower.
Steve, I would love to know where you are getting the data to back up those numbers.
Well, steve and I had a talk, I told him that I didn't save my marriage, but I saved myself. Steve told me he got his wife to work on the marraige by working on himself. So with a sample of 2 we are at 50/50.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I normally say that sitches start at 50/50. Some have circumstances that make them have better odds. Some lower.
Steve, I would love to know where you are getting the data to back up those numbers.
Well, steve and I had a talk, I told him that I didn't save my marriage, but I saved myself. Steve told me he got his wife to work on the marraige by working on himself. So with a sample of 2 we are at 50/50.
LOL
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I believe everyone has a good change at the beginning to turn things around. It is a huge task to seduce your spouse away from another person. It is not quite so hard to seduce them away from an EA. The easiest is to seduce them from a fantasy.
LB55, You have been given a gift, even if you can't see it. Take this opportunity to focus on personal growth.
Read as much as you can. It is important for you to be able to predict and respond appropriately to things coming at you in the future.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
[/quote]Well, steve and I had a talk, I told him that I didn't save my marriage, but I saved myself. Steve told me he got his wife to work on the marraige by working on himself. So with a sample of 2 we are at 50/50.
Well I am at the airport ready to fly home and face this situation. I feel like I should have one of those bomb squad explosion proof suits on for navigating this minefield. I have no idea what I will be walking into. Praying for a calm situation and to help me stay in control of myself. Going to play with the kids, no R talk, take the kids Christmas shopping tomorrow, and focus on them. Wearing my nice new clothes and a new hairstyle. I like it!
Originally I asked nicely to discuss our plan for Christmas with W via email, and got back that I should make alternate arrangements for Christmas and New Years. I replied back with 'just to be clear, you are not letting me see the kids at christmas?' A loaded question, yes. I could have done that better, but I was very emotional at this point. This was all dec 7. On the 18th, she finally replied that 'you will be able to see the kids at Christmas, let me know when to pick you up'. Waited a day to reply, and got another email wanting to know when I arrived, a bit more urgency to it.
I replied with my arrival time, and that the kids asked me to take them shopping. I will do that tomorrow, then let her have them over Christmas while I visit friends and family, I will pick them up on the 27th, and keep them until New Year's Day. My side of the family is having Christmas on the 29th, because that is when my sisters are available. That gives me 6 days with them, and gives her Christmas actual. She hasn't replied. I am waiting for her to accuse me of controlling her, which I don't think I am. She can do whatever she wants, I just clearly stated my desires for time with the kids. I have a feeling she is going to want to 'talk about things' and encourage me to not go. I am committed, she told me to make alternate plans and I did. I will not turn down a precious spot at someone's table that wants me to be with them in order to sit at home under our table and eat crumbs from W.
I should have the DR book waiting for me with my sister, so I will read that over the next couple weeks, and be ready for full home arrival in mid January.
I did have a panic today, my atm card didn't work at the 2 atm machines here, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she froze our accounts via her L and filed D paperwork, just because of the secrecy and silence about everything since BD. Turns out there is no problem, called my bank, and it must be a problem with the other banks machines. Luckily I didn't call her out on it, I just asked there was a fraud alert or something on our account, she wasn't aware of any, so I called the bank. Then she complained about that particular bank, I validated her frustration, I have never had a good experience either. Think before you text in anger, nothing is as it seems at times.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
