I replied back with 'just to be clear, you are not letting me see the kids at christmas?' A loaded question, yes. I could have done that better, but I was very emotional at this point. This was all dec 7. On the 18th, she finally replied that 'you will be able to see the kids at Christmas, let me know when to pick you up'.
That was perfect.
Remember these words, They will help you:
"I am sorry you feel that way" "I need time to process what you just said" "I am not sure how I feel about that"
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Well that went poorly. Showed up for my wife to pick me up and got served divorce papers by a foot old man. She is requesting 2 hours per week of supervised visitation, that she needs $6000 out of my $7500 check, froze all our assets, 42 pages of lies about me, I beat her, beat the kids, I am drunk 7 days a week, I engage in risky activities that endanger the kids(doesn't say what), that I have denied her healthcare for years(military spouses get free healthcare anytime they want), that she is afraid of physical harm so I cannot see her or the kids or go near my house. I have 7 days before the restraining order hearing. No oral testimony will be allowed, and I must provide written proof of the false allegations. Needless to say it is hard finding a lawyer over a 4 day Christmas weekend. I am so upset. She is taking my kids and there is little I can do right now. If you have any advice it would be appreciated. Please don't tell me to get a life right now.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
First off take a breath and stay calm. Don't panic and plan your next actions.
You have a certain amount of time to respond to being served. Did she file a domestic violence order? There are some military guys online who have support groups for dealing with sitch like yours.. Seek them out. I know one guy who posts YouTube vids, but he is very much not in accordance to DB so I don't think posting here would be appropriate. Get a lawyer ASAP. Also you have protections as a soldier, the SCRA has divorce protections I believe. Unfortunately, your task now over the holidays is going to be getting squared away with your sitch. I will say it again, contact a lawyer asap.
Last edited by Twofeet; 12/21/1804:22 PM.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Have consults with a couple lawyers for next Wednesday, earliest anyone is available. Man this really [censored]. She even accused me of being the at fault parent in our sons near drowning incident in 2013. She was right next to me.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
She is requesting 2 hours per week of supervised visitation, that she needs $6000 out of my $7500 check, froze all our assets, 42 pages of lies about me, I beat her, beat the kids, I am drunk 7 days a week, I engage in risky activities that endanger the kids(doesn't say what), that I have denied her healthcare for years(military spouses get free healthcare anytime they want), that she is afraid of physical harm so I cannot see her or the kids or go near my house. I have 7 days before the restraining order hearing. No oral testimony will be allowed, and I must provide written proof of the false allegations. Needless to say it is hard finding a lawyer over a 4 day Christmas weekend. I am so upset. She is taking my kids and there is little I can do right now. If you have any advice it would be appreciated. Please don't tell me to get a life right now.
Hopefully you have all your emails from her. If she was concerned, it should be documented in there.
Do not interact with this woman. No emails, text phone calls. Last thing you want is a false restaining order issued.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I was involved in a highly contested custody battle. I knew what was important and have 50/50 parenting.
1) Stay calm. 2) Find the best lawyer. 3) Stay calm. 4) Let the lawyers do the arguing. 5) Stay calm. 6) Share everything with your lawyer. Especially anything that could be perceived as "Bad" 7) Sign up for parenting classes. 8) Find a Fathers Support group 9) Keep focused on personal growth.
Ask as many questions here as you can.
You can handle this.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Breathe. BREATHE MAN!!!!! This is going to be OK. It's not good, hell no. But eventually yes, it will BE OK.
I know it hurts. It will hurt. It's OK to hurt. Hell it's even OK to tell the world and your wife that you're hurt. But do your best NOT to wallow in the sewage. Everyone slips and falls sometimes. Just don't stay down.
The most important thing to remember now is that your marriage is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION now. You have to look at it that way. With the exception of your kids, this is all about negotiating the allocation of assets during a divestiture. You are in negotiations now. Lawyer up as best you can.
She cannot take your kids from you. She cannot take your dignity from you. She cannot take your self-respect away from you.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
Wow. That is really terrible LB. Does she not need some sort of evidence to back up accusations like that? Police contacts? Witnesses? Are the kids old enough to be interviewed? Try to think of people who might be able to be a witness for you or be willing to submit an affidavit. Try to stay calm. If she can't back up what she is saying, this is going to look really bad on her so don't give her any ammo by contacting her. Your lawyer will know what to do so hang in there until you see them. (((HUGS)))
