Letting Go. Detaching. Done Engaging.

[Did]

She was dropping teachers presents on me unexpectedly although it is something we should do. I should have ignored her saying she passed the test I guess... but definitely glad she’s able to start working and earning money.

Ovr we didn’t hook up or spend anytime together the last few days since I mentioned a few pages ago. Nothing new to report.

Whether it is what I’m supposed to do or not. I feel like I have to seem to not care and be as cold as ice. Move on. She can you F dudes on Tinder if she chooses I don’t want to know and will not be a part of her life except for D4 unless she shows me consistent action to where she deserves me as her partner. Her perception is so different from mine. Just focusing on moving on and being happy without her. Only said this 12 times already...

[STH17]

although it is something we should do

I don't think this needs to be a "we" activity. And the way she dropped it on you certainly doesn't make it a "we" activity. Sounds like she wants you to run her errands for her. You are not her errand boy.

If she wants to give the teachers a present but you don't, she can do that herself and make it happen. If YOU want to give the teachers presents, you can get them something ($5 gift card?) but do it on your own and make it "From D4".

[Did]

I don’t think she meant I do it or a we. She wanted me to make sure she did it or remind her. I don’t know if she wanted me to pay. Either way I am having nothing to do with it. I wanted to FaceTime to say goodnight to D4 but I’ll see her tomorrow anyway. NC. No response.

[ovrrnbw]

Good job. You are not there to help her remember little things anymore.

Ovr we didn’t hook up or spend anytime together the last few days since I mentioned a few pages ago. Nothing new to report.

I just thought you were giving her some response that maybe you shouldn't have.

[STH17]

She has texted make sure I get presents for D4 teachers tomorrow. Should of had them ready today. Then sent pic of D4 eating. No response for me.

Ohh sorry I misunderstood this and thought you paraphrased her message, with the “I” referring to yourself. I didn’t realize it was more of a verbatim transcript asking you to remind her. Yeah no response needed.

[Did]

I have come to the conclusion my W [censored]. Going to leave it at that. I don’t care it’s not my problem anymore

[ovrrnbw]

She has $ucked for a long time, you're just now seeing it.

[Did]

Yea I agree she has sucked. Ovr. Im just done dealing with loser I desire and is sexy. Shes so out of balance and it fcks me up. Feb was my timetable for Divorce and Im sticking to it. June 2017 she left... this game has to end.

Of course as you guys suspected she ended up wanting me to get the teachers presents. Selfish AF. She freaked out when I said no. Said it was for D4 not her blah blah said shed split it. Texted me condescending [censored] this is for our child, said its BS. I replied more than I should have. TOld her saying no was not being rude or having attitude.

She never walks our dog and he’s sick and limping. I walked him today. And will be taking him as much as possible. She loves this freaking animal but can’t put on a coat to walk him and get him some exercise to stay healthy. Needless to say the dog has 8k of metal in his knees. It seems like she can’t do anything difficult. I’m just fed up.

I asked her to borrow a santa hat weeks ago because I wanted to do a video giving kids lacrosse gear. She said she couldnt find it, it was hanging next to her tree. She didnt even look. There was other selfish sht I forgot about. I had left some channukah gifts over there after the holiday because we were on different terms then. I packed up my toys and brought them with D4 to my house.

At school connected with a classmates parents and will do a play date. Im a great dad. And Ive come a long fcking way. Yea I may be codepent with her or have NGS and allow her to manipulate me. But there will be no more NGS. No helping her out. If she comes back showing remorse and consistent actions we can talk. Otherwise I have nothing for her.

She still hasnt read codependent no more and is 40 pages in on six pillars of self esteem. And asking me to borrow Mark Mansons subtle art to not giving a [censored]. I had mentioned she should read it a while ago when we were dating. She should definitely read the other two books first but whatever.

Im done talking to her. Talking about her unless sht changes. Games over. Time to turn the page.

[sandi2]

NC question. She has texted make sure I get presents for D4 teachers tomorrow. Should of had them ready today. Then sent pic of D4 eating. No response for me.

Keep in mind that all this is her keeping you emotionally attached. It's not your job to remind her of anything. You aren't her secretary. In some cases, you just have to be very blunt about it.

Question - if she asks about not responding or not talking just say I’ve been busy or what do you recommend?

My advice is to be blunt and say, "I just need some space".

[Did]

W just picked up D4. I really don’t see anything changing in our sitch. W asked who would have D4 for New Years saying she definitely didn’t have anything to do. I just said I didn’t know yet. Gave D4 some love went to cleaning up.

Anyway I’m going to do whatever you all recommend NC. DB. I’m pretty sure I’ll be scheduling mediation or talking divorce in a month. And I’m basically ok with that. It’s nit what I want but I can’t wait on this woman forever. I can’t make her want to be together and work on our relationship be consistent or unselfish.

She tried to make small talk about her friend / hair cutter and her car. And w hates small talk. I didn’t say much. She gave me this big smile and said bye. I just said cya. She doesn’t seem to get it.

Just focusing on me and moving forward. Planning not to reach out over Christmas. Will FaceTime with D4. Otherwise just ignore her if she sends pics etc? Right ? Thanks all. Happy holidays.