Steve, what is it that you really want? How old are your kids?
Not sure what I want yet. Still sorting out it.
One daughter, 14.
My thought... be remembered for being there for your D during all of her childhood so don't leave her with regrets and resentment that you chose to leave and not be around as much as you could have been. Your job is to be there for her and support her to become independent and have strong values. Reassess your sitch after she has flown the nest because at that point your W and you will have more time and space for a new life with new opertunities and adventures.You've got until then to work out what it is that you want.
Steve no more advice from me, stopped by to say you are one of the strongest people I have come across on this board and in due course you will make the right choice that is meant for the greatest good of everyone involved HUGS
I have been trying to pick my XW's brain lately to better understand the mentality of walking away or waywarding.
All of her answers end up basically being that she doesn't know why she did what she did to our family, and the reasoning she had behind a lot of it was made up out of thin air to justify something that she can't even explain to this day.
It's like she gaslighted herself.
Don't end up like my WW, with huge karmic debt, a trail of destruction, and not even ONE positive thing to show for it.
If you have reasons for walking away, fine. Just make sure they're not bullshit.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
Steve no more advice from me, stopped by to say you are one of the strongest people I have come across on this board and in due course you will make the right choice that is meant for the greatest good of everyone involved HUGS
Sia, thank you so very much! I appreciate the support.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Funny how videos show up out of the blue..This showed up this morning:
Bookmarked before the mods remove it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I have been trying to pick my XW's brain lately to better understand the mentality of walking away or waywarding.
All of her answers end up basically being that she doesn't know why she did what she did to our family, and the reasoning she had behind a lot of it was made up out of thin air to justify something that she can't even explain to this day.
It's like she gaslighted herself.
Don't end up like my WW, with huge karmic debt, a trail of destruction, and not even ONE positive thing to show for it.
If you have reasons for walking away, fine. Just make sure they're not bullshit.
Joe, for some of the reasons I listed in my earlier response I could easily have been a walk away prior to a year ago. I think. I'm dealing with some of that again I think. Thanks for the advice and insight, I'm not making any decisions right now now.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Funny how videos show up out of the blue..This showed up this morning:
Jordan Peterson is a very smart man. I would love to go to one of his TED Talks. He is right on the money. I posted that on FB. Of course my WW is blocked from my FB so she won't see it.
Last edited by job; 12/23/1802:09 PM. Reason: removed reference to a video on marriage
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Just got home from the trip. We had a good time in the way home. Fun, light conversation. When we stopped to grab a bite I read the responses here and responded. Then in the car I was having that suffocated feeling again. So hard to describe but it feels like being a caged animal. I started thinking about if we lived separate lives and that was freeing from the suffocating feeling! I did tell her when she brought up the distance she's felt from me the last few days on the drive out to our outing that I wanted to get into IC as soon as the house sells. She didn't say anything, I half expected her to bring up MC which I was going to tell her I wasn't interested in right now, but since it didn't come up I didn't have to say that.
Just need to get through the holidays and my sister's visit.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Funny how videos show up out of the blue..This showed up this morning:
OMG this guy is incredibly amazing! Never have seen nor heard of him but he puts it all so well and so clearly and I could not agree more with what he is saying. Going to hunt down more of his stuff!!!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
