Just go to YT and look up Jordan Peterson and divorce. Should pull up a few different vids so look for the ones where he is lecturing a class. Maybe not the one R2C linked, but JP's sentiments on the big D are all pretty similar in the vids you will find.
Last edited by Twofeet; 12/23/1809:34 PM.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Hey Steve, been reading from a distance and I fully agree that you have earned the status of AMOAFWL. I read your posts and I truly cheer for you in your sitch. You have been instrumental in my growth and healing process from day 1 and I cannot thank you enough! What concerns me about your current circumstance is that I feel that God has a strong presence in your life. I know that you garner strength and wisdom from a place of faith. I can feel that you are strongly guided by your moral compass. I think we are similar in that we operate with the objective -what would be pleasing to God. I cannot answer for you - you can only make the decision which you feel works best for you. What I suggest is you pray deeply - speak to your clergy and try to get clarification before going forth and making any rash decisions. Know that we are united in prayer my brother. May God grant you peace and clarity in these upcoming days so that you can continue on your journey in peace. Blessings my friend!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Thanks all for the prayers, well-wishes and encouragement. I promised a longer post about the anniversary of BD so here it goes.
What a difference a year makes! Last year on BD, I felt like I had been gut punched. I was in a poor me, sad frame of mind. In fact, while I remember the discussion (initiated by me) where I confronted her with evidence of her EA, and she bombed me, I can't remember the rest of the night. I don't remember how, or if, I slept. I remember the next day. I remember sleepless nights the rest of the week. I remember the feeling of helplessness and anxiety.
I was dreading today for a week, wondering if I'd relive any of that. But what is astounding is that I have not. That I am very much at peace. But also that I am having feelings similar to what she was having last year. But that has given me a plan!
Last year 2 days after BD, I rememberd DBing. I began to look for pro-marriage advisors online and found plenty. All said the same things: Give her time and space. GAL. Fix myself. I began doing lots of reading and studying. I watched countless MWD videos. Read MWD's online posts. I tried to find her books on digital (something she still needs to fix BY THE WAY!). I went on a journey of self-discovery, and information gathering. Because I was dealing with a WAS.
Now I am dealing with another WAS. This time its me! But guess what, the remedy is the same: give myself time and space. GAL. Work on myself! And I will renew my information gathering and reading and studying, just like I did last year!
I think I need to borrow DR again and reread it. As well as a lot of other books, and resources. So that is my plan from this point forward. Work on me, the walkaway, as opposed to me the LBS!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Now I am dealing with another WAS. This time its me! But guess what, the remedy is the same: give myself time and space. GAL. Work on myself! And I will renew my information gathering and reading and studying, just like I did last year!
Exactly. It is always going to be the same solution.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Steve, I think a lot of us here can relate to what you're going through. In my own sitch, I am no longer desperate to reconcile with W. The fog has lifted, and I can remember how I was unhappy because of her failures as a W, to the point where if she asked to reconcile, the response would be "maybe, let's see how well you plan on fulfilling MY needs and wants." I'm pretty sure you're in the same spot, and that's natural. The difference is that your W IS attempting to fulfill your needs and wants. Give her, and yourself, the gift of time, and patience.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
ovr, things are good here. Been busy but still finding time to DB. Started a new book on why to stay in your marriage. Also refreshing up on the love languages. Of course we've been very busy with the holidays and friends and family.
Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year. I try to check in to the board every so often even if I don't post.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
