If you don't want to be married anymore, then get a divorce. But the hard date I don't get. I think you are hoping that day becomes and ultimatum and a deadline and she does some 180 at crunch time. But we all know that won't be a real 180. her decision to work on herself will be one she builds up to and happens over time. You don't want her just running back because you put some hardline date on the divorce thing.
If you don't want to be married anymore, then get a divorce. But the hard date I don't get. I think you are hoping that day becomes and ultimatum and a deadline and she does some 180 at crunch time. But we all know that won't be a real 180. her decision to work on herself will be one she builds up to and happens over time. You don't want her just running back because you put some hardline date on the divorce thing.
Agreed. Did if you do a hard deadline it should be privately for YOU. I had my deadline for how long I'd wait for my W to fully commit back to the marriage AND start putting in the work. I had that in my signature. Note, I NEVER told her. As Ginger said, she will see it as manipulation on your part AND/OR use it for manipulation on her part. So don't give her the deadline. Just set it for yourself and when it passes go file for D.
Last edited by Steve85; 01/09/1902:00 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Good to hear from you Steve, hope things are going well for you in your sitch.
W asked my timetable knowing our MC had recommended I set a timetable months ago. Maybe i shouldnt have told her but I did about a month ago. Do I hold strong to my word of Feb timetable.
I do want to be married with my partner who I love and miss but dont really see much of any hope. The date was to let myself really move on. I dont want to be separated anymore. Being technically married messes with my head.
For example, I just have a hard time picturing my W sitting at the Thanksgiving table with my family. Which was something my brother asked me at thanksgiving. I talked to her briefly yesterday when dropping off D4 stuff and dog. After everything I still think shes a good person. So in the end yes I would still want to be married to her.... but she has said stuff like she doesnt want a relationship with me... Dont listen to anything she says but I just feel its done, an expired relationship
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Please start a new thread and link your two threads together. Thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Last edited by Cadet; 01/09/1906:56 PM. Reason: Link
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
