Had a meeting Wednesday like I mentioned before. What a disaster. No detachment on my part at all. I imploded into a blubbering mess. Can't see how that did anything remotely beneficial. More like I jumped off the proverbial cliff. W wouldn't even consider a pause in the proceedings. Even after both L told her that our $$$ is a disaster and at our age retirement should be on our minds. The $$$ will only be worse by doing this. Nothing.
Texted me the next morning something I had a hard time understanding. Her grammar was harder to follow than usual. Boiled down to nope, move on and accept it.
My reply was not that easy. Too much reply?
Anyway I removed my stuff from the bathroom as far as toothbrush, razor, etc. Tired of the games.
What am I not learning God? What lesson do you want me to learn?
Last edited by Turbine; 01/11/1901:26 PM.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
What am I not learning God? What lesson do you want me to learn?
How about their is no FIXING your marriage or your wife. Only you can fix yourself.
Let go and DB. It might seem grim right now as I can relate to the money aspects, I was 55 when I washed up here too, and retirement looked bleak then too. Still does 10 years later but I know that I will be OK and I am on the path to recovery.
LOVE your children and grandchildren. They are the GIFT to you.
You're still very emotionally attached to her. This is understandable given you've been married a long time. What are you actively doing to emotionally detach and get yourself to a healthier spot in your heart and in your head?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
How about their is no FIXING your marriage or your wife. Only you can fix yourself.
Let go and DB. It might seem grim right now as I can relate to the money aspects, I was 55 when I washed up here too, and retirement looked bleak then too. Still does 10 years later but I know that I will be OK and I am on the path to recovery.
LOVE your children and grandchildren. They are the GIFT to you.
So simple written, thank you Cadet. ^^^^^^^^This is it T.
Stay strong there man Let go and DB.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
You're still very emotionally attached to her. This is understandable given you've been married a long time. What are you actively doing to emotionally detach and get yourself to a healthier spot in your heart and in your head?
Apparently whatever I am doing to cut emotional ties is obviously not working. At this point most of my ideas to try cross lines I don't want to even approach. So... thoughts and ideas?
I really want to avoid terminally stupid and morally stupid too. Spending the weekend with younger D and S isn't as doable either. Annoyed with her about some FB posts and her blocking older D about it. Had a less than respectful tone addressing me too.. Also Church services are on earlier schedule Saturday and Sunday. Couples group meeting Sunday and I need to bring soup. Not sure which soup to make... an easy one for the crock pot... split pea is easy and bring a bag of croutons to go with it. Or a cabbage soup... choices choices... Not even sure about attending. Not a couple really even if technically yes. ...whiskey tango foxtrot...
Session tonight with the trainer at the gym. Really want to hit the gym a few more times over the weekend too. So if I do the church group meeting and the gym... I'll have to drop normal Sunday afternoon activity... what to do what to do....
Well I have time to sort it out. What I have to test can auto pilot through.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Had a meeting Wednesday like I mentioned before. What a disaster. No detachment on my part at all. I imploded into a blubbering mess. Can't see how that did anything remotely beneficial. More like I jumped off the proverbial cliff. W wouldn't even consider a pause in the proceedings. Even after both L told her that our $$$ is a disaster and at our age retirement should be on our minds. The $$$ will only be worse by doing this. Nothing.
Texted me the next morning something I had a hard time understanding. Her grammar was harder to follow than usual. Boiled down to nope, move on and accept it.
My reply was not that easy. Too much reply?
Anyway I removed my stuff from the bathroom as far as toothbrush, razor, etc. Tired of the games.
What am I not learning God? What lesson do you want me to learn?
Dear Good Sir Turbine,
I don't mean to be crass but did you hear the parable of the drowning man?
You're here for a reason, save yourself. Just from the last journaling alone, it sounds like you want W to wake up and realize the devastation from the financial aspect of D, when she's telling you what she wants. You're very much still in the fog. I can't tell you what to do or not do, but I'll say that I've been raised to have faith, blind faith where it's not based on cause and effect. God does not remove obstacles from your path to make it easier for you, he gives you the strength to go through them and you will be stronger on the other side. It's up to you to find peace in that. It's also up to you to see that maybe he has you here for a reason, and that maybe you should look up at the help he's sent you here...
This is a temporary journey for all of us, one we each have to walk alone. We are given gifts in life and we are ourselves gifts to others. You have family, maybe shift more focus on what you have? Be thankful for that as some don't have that gift. Be thankful you are here, take a moment and listen to what is said.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
Yes I have heard that story. I guess right now I am still trying to drown instead of accepting the rescue. What a mess.
No, I am not sure what she is telling me beyond done, move on I don't love you, its over.
Trust nothing they say and half of what they do...
So here is her text message the following morning:
"Think about yesterday, conference. We could do better than what I I've seen very simple You just have to accept and let it go what is the truth.there is no Love in between"
So what I get out of that is I am wasting my time trying to improve myself because she is beyond thinking of ever trying. I don't want anyone else. A terminally stupid wouldn't hurt her. Would it isolate her from our kids? Would she ever regret this? Some sick trains of thought right... thats where I am too much...
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
So what I get out of that is I am wasting my time trying to improve myself because she is beyond thinking of ever trying. I don't want anyone else. A terminally stupid wouldn't hurt her. Would it isolate her from our kids? Would she ever regret this? Some sick trains of thought right... thats where I am too much...
You are only wasting your time improving yourself if your goal is to make your W reconsider D. You can NOT make another person do ANYTHING.
You improve yourself because you love yourself and your children. You got that????? NO OTHER REASON!!!! This is about YOU. You have to become the best version of you possible, because this road is rough. This road is dangerous. This road leads through despair. You will have to be the best version of Turbine possible to make it on this road. Sure, it scks being on this path because it is so difficult.
But at the end of the road is healing and the future.
Last edited by Joe2017; 01/11/1907:11 PM.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
I wrote this with more anger than warranted. I know I am here for the same reason all of you are. To get help. Get through a tough stretch. Deleting this... would be hiding stuff that maybe one of you reading would know what I am missing. So here it is.
I know the only reason to improve myself should be for me. Stuff I should have done long ago. When she asked. There... sounds like its for her. But I am not stopping trying to improve. So not just for her. I feel much calmer between attending church, praying and hitting the gym.
My Dad had a bad heart. His kidneys were failing which accelerated his heart condition. He missed my Mom and died 23 months after she did. I don't want to do that. I doubt I would last that long without my wife. Maybe I would. Now it is most likely I will find out much sooner than I originally thought.
Wow Turbine, you really haven't detached have you. Still so emotionally attached to someone who wants absolutely nothing to do with you. What a loser attitude.
Yeah, nothing like being made to feel like stuff you scrape off your boot from the stable. Picked last, after the fat gay kid, Only time I was needed was for "let me see your homework".
Yeah, life is garbage right now. Smart, speaks multiple languages, tough, beautiful, short, speaks imperfect English, has a temper, demands her way. I still love her, flaws and all. So what does that make me? Looks like alone again and stuck in a storm of emotions that I helped create.
Last edited by Turbine; 01/11/1908:26 PM.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
