Dealing with a WW and finding my happiness pt. 5

[lost8]

At that point I would have eaten her chic fil a

[SteveLW]

ST, I understand that this is difficult to go through. But one of the things I learned throughout my sitch was that I needed to be thick-skinned. WASs. WSs have a unbelievable capacity to be insensitive and hurtful. This is another reason that detachment is so important. sandi says to treat them like the cashier at the store. If the cashier at the store said those things to you you wouldn't care. Getting to that point with your spouse, who you've committed your life to (and they've done the same back) is difficult! But extremely helpful when you get there. When an obstinate spouse no longer gets any reaction to their spiteful comments, including the body language that is very subtle but that they are masters of picking up on, they will not get their fix of having an affect and stop the behavior.

[AnotherStander]

ST, very sorry about your grandmother.

To be nice I ran to chic fil a and got breakfast for WW and S11.

If you want to do something for S11 then go ahead, but anything you do for W is just rewarding her shitty behavior. She treats you like crap, verbally abuses you at every opportunity, yet you continue to do her these little favors "to be nice". Don't do it anymore.

I get home and inform WW that my grandma passed and she says "oh sorry" and then says "I don't know why you have to get all dressed up to go get breakfast".

Could she be any more cold and callous? I think not. You have got to go as dark as possible with her for your own sanity. Don't buy her stuff. Don't do errands for her. Don't talk to her. Don't interact with her. Get away as often as you can. Be there for S11 ONLY.

I just responded saying that I wasnt dressed up, I was just dressed in the outfit i elected and ironed last night. So she responds with "you had to wear a tie to get chic fil a?" In a sarcastic tone.

Next time ignore her. There is literally no response you can make that won't earn you a response dripping with hate and sarcasm.

[SoTorn]

I will do that AS thanks.

I honestly just bought food for s11 but got the platter of minis so there was enough for WW. But yes I need to just keep it strictly NC. WW didnt even call my mom or anything.

God help me not hate this woman.

[SoTorn]

Journaling,

Dear lord, please help me get through a couple more months of IHS.

I went shopping again because I am toning up. I'm not losing weight any longer. Sitting right at 177lbs at 6ft tall. I now fit in medium slim fit button down shorts and 34x30 skinny slacks/Jean's. I feel great and look great.

My s11 asked to see a new outfit. I showed him and he said I look awesome. WW was sitting on the couch so she also saw. Of course she says "oh you just look sickly now because of the weight loss".

Wow, full NPD mode. WW is going on 40 desparately trying to look 30 right now. I can honestly say she is fit, but she looks like trash. But I dont go out of my way to insult her so I keep my mouth shut.

I just responded and stated "I dont need your validation on how I look".

When I walked back through the family room she tried to back pedal by saying "I don't mean you dont look good" and I just ignored her. WW is one seriously broken woman. I mean insults just to insult without any argument or confrontation going on.

My feeling that I am absolutely done with MR is holding strong. Again, I am trying not to hate this woman.

[Bo562]

I went shopping again because I am toning up. I'm not losing weight any longer. Sitting right at 177lbs at 6ft tall. I now fit in medium slim fit button down shorts and 34x30 skinny slacks/Jean's. I feel great and look great.

Great job, brother.

I’m 6’1’, weighed in at 178 lbs. this morning. I hear you—it feels great, I love how I look and feel (and can only imagine how much worse my back would feel if I weighed 30 lbs. more), and I’ve gotten comments from (mostly older) women at work about it.

[SoTorn]

Nice good job. Yes the endless stream of compliments is nice.

[SoTorn]

Journaling,

Back out of town again. I absolutely love getting out of town. Taking my car to a different race track out of town is something I wanted to do for a while.

I am having a great time. Drove through some crazy winter weather on the way in. It's pretty dicey driving a 5+ horsepower rear wheel drive car with summer sticky tires in winter conditions.

WW acting odd again. I advised the kids that I was going out of town. Came up with contingency with D16 and D19 in case WW also left.

D16 told WW who asked if I was going out of town. I just said "yes".

On the way up here driving through snow and ice WW starts to message me. She tells me to transfer $$ to our joint for mortgage and insurance. I know when both are due, which is not right now. She ended up calling me over and over several hours later and texting like crazy. I finally responded and all she wanted was me to transfer the money.

So again, I just validated and eventually did it before bed. WW sent me a text asking if I got in safe and thanking me for transferring money.

I responded a while later with yes. I guess it was a question. Very odd that she checked on me.

[Davide]

Enjoy the time out of town! Stay safe in those conditions! (and don't even bother spending a thought on what crazy WW is doing.)

[SoTorn]

Thanks Davide. I'm enjoying every second of it. I may extend one night.