Building my best self and life with or without W

[Did]

She has been expressing interest again... when she asks about the lack of support what do you recommend I say? She will see it as an ultimatum or perceived control. She has also seemed interested... Im going to continue pulling further away. Asked me how Im so strong today in front of D4. She seems very weak and down. Told me she had a $400 gyno appt. And went out with a guy last night because she was feeling weak. Said she has been doing everything shes supposed to do to heal, reading, resting.. but its hard. Meanwhile Im struggling to maintain my real estate business. But still Im strong because I have to be. As a role model, a man, a dad, a coach, a leader. I told her that and left it at that. Yes too much communication.

While there she asked me to sit on bed with them when dropping her off I said I dont think I should and gave D4 a hug and left.

[Loves77]

The fact that you can repeat that much of what she has been up to and blah blah blah is a major indicator that spoke to her for too long. Do not go in her house, do not let her in your house. And drop offs or pick ups should take about 30 seconds. No lingering. For real deal, you need to stop letting her tell you about her life. Don't let her show interest. Get on about your business.

I say this bc you need to start moving on. You will only do that if start to actually do it. Stop looking at these "breadcrumbs" as anything more than what they are.

[Ginger1]

She's moving closer because she asked you a timeline for a reason, you gave her an answer, she is approaching it, and she knows just how to reel you in to continue to keep getting things exactly as she wants it.

[Davide]

She's moving closer because she asked you a timeline for a reason, you gave her an answer, she is approaching it, and she knows just how to reel you in to continue to keep getting things exactly as she wants it.

Yep! This!

Stay strong, Did!

[Did]

W says -
She’s still very sick.. idk if she should go to drs or what.
Will google it a bit but I haven’t slept in 2 days
Struggling and feeling sick, unable to take care of myself at all

I have meetings today and coaching this afternoon. Free at 530. Wanting to swoop in and save the day. Won’t do it.

Any advice on response?

[ovrrnbw]

You don't know and you don't need to know if she should go to the Dr. She's an adult. She was able to figure this out before she met you, right? So she can figure this out for herself.

Is she asking you a question? If so, respond "yes" or "no". If there's no question, don't respond. I'm going to hammer this to death. She wants you to come save the day, but a couple days ago she told you she has a new OM. It's his problem and you need to let it be his problem. And if he doesn't want to meet her needs then oh well. But you can't go take care of her and not get what you need, expect, and REQUIRE from a relationship. Your W is not well, but she won't get better if you keep playing into her demented open relationship expectations.

[neffer]

Don´t start another cycle Did, please...

[Did]

D4 is the one who has been sick for a week. Not W. I only responded about D4. Does she have a fever... discussing D4 going to dr. I didn’t reply at all about W health or even say sorry I hope you feel better or anything.

She told me she went out on a date because she was feeling week the other day. OM I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter.

[Ginger1]

She told you she went on a date? What a........... I won't say the words.

D4 that is it. If she is sick and she is not getting better, take her to the Dr. I hope she feels better soon.

Your W sure is a piece of work.

[neffer]

I get it. Sorry. I misread the post. So if D has been sick then act accordingly.

Hope she gets well soon.

Found some treasures:

Fool me once shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me.
Fool me a hundred times, I must be a LBS.

: )