S - The author of NMMNG has a series of really great podcasts out about how your life should be your cake and your w/partner/girlfriend or whoever should be the frosting. Whether she is in or out you will have a great life no matter what. Your partner should never be your main focus rather someone that enhances your life. I say this because if you are unsure of things, your feelings, etc. maybe it is a good opportunity to put your efforts into all those things that you enjoy that don't involve your W. Maybe that will help you get the additional time you need to become more comfortable, confident, and secure.
Very good stuff. Yes my cake has been full. I continue to GAL and do all the things I enjoy. I guess I am just expecting someone to come along again at some point and start to lick the frosting off. I do not give her a pass in any of this, but in both cases she was pursued by OM. [censored] we live in a world where few live by the commandment: covet not your neighbor's W. Nowadays it is as if the mentality is: "There is a married woman....challenge!"
I guess infidelity is nothing new. Look at David and Bathsheeba.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
So I am going to lean on that learning to help avoid sitch #3.
I can tell you, that #2, #3 , #4 , #5...
None of them will matter, if YOU aren't where you wanna be.
You are figuring that out now...
Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows after the affair, or just because she changes her mind today.
TBH ??
I feel that a lot of this is based on your expectations, of what things should look like, instead of taking them at face value and building together what the future of #2 looks actually looks like.
Trying to apply principals of the #1 into #2 and so forth.
Kinda like you wouldn't go into a car dealer, and buy a new car, only to have them install your old engine in it, because you think it will last another 20 feet or so....
Just because there is a comfortability, doesn't mean that their should be a complacency....
That's why I asked the questions, and also about the social media site....
Love isn't about what you receive, it's about what you give.
Do you love your daughter because she gives so much to you ??
I would like to see you dive into some of those questions I asked you earlier....
And even though you HATE HATE HATE social media....
I assure you that I'm not asking you for that, so that I can see pictures of your pet Sasquatch...
I don't have accounts with any SM...and I am not going to create one. It isn't that I don't trust you Mach1. It is just that I don't want to patronze SM in any way.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
So I am going to lean on that learning to help avoid sitch #3.
I can tell you, that #2, #3 , #4 , #5...
None of them will matter, if YOU aren't where you wanna be.
You are figuring that out now...
Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows after the affair, or just because she changes her mind today.
TBH ??
I feel that a lot of this is based on your expectations, of what things should look like, instead of taking them at face value and building together what the future of #2 looks actually looks like.
Trying to apply principals of the #1 into #2 and so forth.
Kinda like you wouldn't go into a car dealer, and buy a new car, only to have them install your old engine in it, because you think it will last another 20 feet or so....
Just because there is a comfortability, doesn't mean that their should be a complacency....
That's why I asked the questions, and also about the social media site....
Love isn't about what you receive, it's about what you give.
Do you love your daughter because she gives so much to you ??
Or because of what you give to her ?
Mach, the quote about love being what you give is great! Thank you for that reminder!!
Agree with everything you said. I can honestly say that I am in a good place. I am where I want to be. And there will never be a sitch #4 or #5. Because I am where I want to be, if she were to BD #3 me, as I've told others, my response would be, "Okay, so how quickly can you be out of the house?" I am in a much better place within myself.
I also appreciate the comfortability vs complacency point. Very good. I think I can honestly say that while we are more comfortable I have not become complacent. And I won't. Ever again.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Agree with everything you said. I can honestly say that I am in a good place. I am where I want to be. And there will never be a sitch #4 or #5. Because I am where I want to be, if she were to BD #3 me, as I've told others, my response would be, "Okay, so how quickly can you be out of the house?" I am in a much better place within myself.
I also appreciate the comfortability vs complacency point. Very good. I think I can honestly say that while we are more comfortable I have not become complacent. And I won't. Ever again.
I don't have accounts with any SM...and I am not going to create one. It isn't that I don't trust you Mach1. It is just that I don't want to patronze SM in any way.
Your call buddy...
Just pretty sure you are gonna need an ear sooner, rather than later...
Although, I must ask..
Why the hostility toward SM ??
I mean, it's not like you are on a public forum, exposing your deepest inner emotional pain or anything....right ?
