IMO you don't go out with the intentions of meeting people you just live your life, get out of the house and opportunities present themselves. For example, I was in the checkout line yesterday at the grocery store and this attractive girl had her food on the belt waiting for it to be scanned. There was not one of those sticks separating her food from what I was going to buy so I asked her if she wanted to buy my groceries. So she came back and said everything but my beer. I then came back and said "you don't like beer?" and then the convo continued. After I started talking to her I realized she had a ring on but that was not the point. The point was I approached and initiated a conversation with a random stranger and who knows next time she might be single. Women whether they are married or not love to flirt and love the attention, the validation. Funny thing was when I was walking out her and her husband drove by me and she smiled at me. I could tell she enjoyed it.
Just live your life, change up your route, linger in public, and opportunities should present themselves to approach.
Exactly what this says. Just live your life, but make sure you do it with swagger and confidence. Women will take notice. Yes women absolutely LOVE attention and validation. You don't need to be a creeper. A small compliment will go a long way. You don't walk up to a woman and say "man you are so beautiful". They hear that all the time. You walk up and say "I really like your shoes, what brand are they? They look great on you...." and then just keep talking. And you will NOT be a creeper by hitting on women in Yoga class. Thats a perfect "in". If you see a woman you would be interested in just walk up to her and talk. Thats all it takes, the confidence to actually engage the woman is the hardest part to get used to.
This woman I met is 13 years younger than I am so there is no issue with a younger woman. Honestly I prefer the younger women now that I met one. I didn't have any expectations of actually meeting this woman like I did. It just "happened". Which was cool with me. I did think she was very pretty when I saw her picture online but thats not why we ended up speaking.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Davide - thanks for the perspective. You're right that everyone is 'available' and there is transparency. I'll give it another shot and see how it pans out.
J - You're so right about talking to women in natural settings and just casually flirting and having conversation. your example was absolutely perfect. I need to do that more.
ST - taking care of your appearance and grooming is definitely important. I have improved in that area in spades over the last year and I look sharp every day. Good accessories and confidence for sure. You have to exude that alpha vibe for women to get naturally attracted to you. I can definitely do that. I just have to be a little more sociable I think. I just went out for drinks with a friend and I had a few women checking me out across the bar. One thing I've become naturally good at is seeing if women are wearing a ring or not. They definitely were so I didn't approach them but I gave a nice smile back. I know that I am pretty decent looking and I clean up really nice. So I have that going in my favor, and of course the personality once we start chatting.
One thing I learned is that always compliment the person and not the object. So, I'd say "wow, you're really able to rock those shoes. they fit perfectly with your outfit". Something that is about the person and their taste rather than the shoe or dress itself. Of course it has to be genuine and not just some line that you want to throw out.
Good learnings here
dusty - man, what you said hit right in the heart. I am so glad that my journey was able to shed some insight into how things were unfolding for you. Yes, relationship with the kids is on the top priority list always and through this process I became even better at it. Kudos to you on the same!
M - The author of NMMNG has a series of podcasts that he puts out on dating, etc. that are pretty cheap to purchase. I would recommend purchasing a listening to a few. He has some good advice/strategies on dating, approaching, etc.
Maika, it's good to hear that you're doing well, and just waiting for the legal stuff to end. Everyone else has chimed in on dating so I won't bother except to say enjoy yourself.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
Thanks J. I will definitely check it out. I have also checked out your coach. Haven't gone through the whole e-book yet, but will take a closer look when I have a chance.
Hope you're doing well too Jim. Yeh, the legal stuff is chugging along and hopefully should get wrapped up soon. I am not expecting any surprises, so should be fairly straightforward.
I don't follow everything he says to a T but there are something's that I do practice pretty religiously. I went to Chipolte for lunch and this attractive young women was in front of me trying to decide what type of drink she was going to get. I told her....."Pick water it is much healthier". She just looked at me and smiled. I approached and she got validated for the day!
I don't follow everything he says to a T but there are something's that I do practice pretty religiously. I went to Chipolte for lunch and this attractive young women was in front of me trying to decide what type of drink she was going to get. I told her....."Pick water it is much healthier". She just looked at me and smiled. I approached and she got validated for the day!
This is exactly how you should act. Just talk to them. That is all you have to do. You see a woman you are attracted to, take the initiative and go talk to her. You never know. If you don't talk to her your chance is 0%.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Thanks Nef! Much love to you too. All's good in the hood. The separation agreement process is almost at the end and then the D papers should be fairly straightforward - we can just file it online and it's all done. Very smooth process and then it's just a waiting game to get the D decree back and it's all official. Hoping that it's all tied up by April at the latest. Hope you're doing well and everything is bright.
Good to hear! I am hoping that my D process is just as buttery smooth as yours. I'm trying to avoid lawyers unless absolutely necessary.
Have you started climbing again? I have only been twice in the last two weeks and I am missing it!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
