I feel like once she had all that, her mixed feelings returned, she for bored, and was ripe for someone who was exciting again.
Yeah - looking for an external factor to pull her out of her perpetual depression. Until she looks within, to solve her depression, the running continues, to look for something, anything that will make her happy.
That is destined for failure. Cause it is not external things causing the issue, it is all internal.
I feel like once she had all that, her mixed feelings returned, she for bored, and was ripe for someone who was exciting again.
Yeah - looking for an external factor to pull her out of her perpetual depression. Until she looks within, to solve her depression, the running continues, to look for something, anything that will make her happy.
That is destined for failure. Cause it is not external things causing the issue, it is all internal.
Agreed. And medication just masks it. So Cadet......what does that mean for me?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I feel like once she had all that, her mixed feelings returned, she for bored, and was ripe for someone who was exciting again.
Yeah - looking for an external factor to pull her out of her perpetual depression. Until she looks within, to solve her depression, the running continues, to look for something, anything that will make her happy.
That is destined for failure. Cause it is not external things causing the issue, it is all internal.
Agreed. And medication just masks it. So Cadet......what does that mean for me?
Hey Steve. I probably missed it, but is your W on medication? While meds often do 'mask' the actual problem, they can be helpful to control emotions and anxiety, and allow someone to focus on addressing the actual problem. If someone is severely depressed, emotional, etc, they likely aren't going to be able to deal with the causes. Just my 2 cents
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Meds for depression are great, at least what I am seeing with my W. Bigger issue is they have to want to address the underlying issue. As much as I would like to push, we have spoken so many times that we cannot fix our spouses anymore. In the past I would have told her what she needed to do and helped her, etc....now she is on her own.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
ovr, I think Cadet is right. Time heals all wounds. She has done a complete 180. The verification I have done has shown this. The problem is with me more than her at this point.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
S - The author of NMMNG has a series of really great podcasts out about how your life should be your cake and your w/partner/girlfriend or whoever should be the frosting. Whether she is in or out you will have a great life no matter what. Your partner should never be your main focus rather someone that enhances your life. I say this because if you are unsure of things, your feelings, etc. maybe it is a good opportunity to put your efforts into all those things that you enjoy that don't involve your W. Maybe that will help you get the additional time you need to become more comfortable, confident, and secure.
