Dealing with a WW and finding my happiness pt. 5

[SoTorn]

From what I could get I have been accused of being obscene and they kept asking if I was making hand gestures. I disnt gestire anything or talk about sex or anything at all. I dont know wtf this person is talking about!!

Sounds as if someone was ease dropping and wanted to play on the fear of the "me too" movement to get back at you for whatever reason.

If HR does a proper investigation, your appropriate work conduct will speak for itself. Other co-workers will stand behind you, if given the chance. I hate this type of backstabbing mess!

That is exactly what I suspect. However, its not to get nack at me directly, its to preserve their job because of a severe hostory of poor performance that is suddenly starting to catch up with them.

Not even 30 minutes before I got called to HR, this person had a meeting with my boss. That meeting was about their performance. Immediately after is when I was called into HR, even though the conversation I had was 7 hours prior.

Yes my work conduct is spotless in regards to anything like this. I have never even been warned about being inappropriate ever, not once. I just cannot believe someone would try to throw me under the bus for any reason.

[Adam04]

ST,

Sorry to hear bout work. Hope they will investigate and speak to your witnesses.

That happens sometimes where I work. I was called in as a witness before for a friend. Told the truth and she went back to work.

Hope you're able to get some sleep.

[SoTorn]

It happens too much. Im so stressed out about this. I had zero worries about my job. I make great money, kids are on my insurance. I have had zero issues in almost two decades.

Its just so unreal because I know i wasnt being obscene or anything. I read the laws about harassment. There are two types, sexual and hostile environment. Me talking about not wanting kids and not having to worry about it because of a procedure doesnt meet either. Even if someone was offended it doesnt count towards either.

Im actually going to call some attorneys on Monday. This is unreal. Just one more major issue i have to deal with. This would ruin me with custody.

[SoTorn]

Hi everyone. Wanted to update as to whats going on. I am still on paid administrative leave at work. I have had three meetings with three levels of management and HR management.

The allegations against me are false and I will continue to deny what I have not done. I have reached out to an attorney as well as this is causing me undue stress. As of now I am still employed. This is such an unreal BS situation with outrageous allegations. 17 years at this place with not one single complaint like this and then suddenly I am a vulgar onscene [censored] per the accuser. Whatever, Ill fight it until the end. I know I didnt say what this person claims to say.

I spent some more time with my new female friend. I truly can say that I really like this woman. We will see how that pans out after D.

I was gone the entire weekend and when I came back WW had her attorney draft the D paperwork and she left it in my room. She agreed to 50 50 custody. However, she offered a jokingly low absurd settlement and then followed that up with a threatening text message essentially saying that if I want more money she will try and use the kids as leverage.

WW is accusing me of taking cash advances from my credit card and having drug fueled party binges. So she threatens to request full financial discovery and drug tests if i want more money. Thats laughable because I have done nothing and can prove it easily and if she wants to let the court decide the settlement then shes going to end up paying more than I would be asking for in the first place. Its sad how she is so disillusioned that she has convinced herself that I just went way off the rails.

I will drop the paperwork off with my attorney for them to rebut. I told WW that she would not threaten me into taking an unfair settlement.

I am actually looking into helping a friend expand his very successful small business. So when I get my settlement I may become a small business co owner.

[AnotherStander]

ST, sorry about the work issue but it sounds like your friend/coworker should be able to vouch for you and back up your statement to HR so hopefully it'll all blow over soon. It sounds like HR is just following standard operating procedure, they really don't have a choice as they have to take any such allegation seriously even if it's completely off-base.

WW is accusing me of taking cash advances from my credit card and having drug fueled party binges. So she threatens to request full financial discovery and drug tests if i want more money. Thats laughable because I have done nothing and can prove it easily and if she wants to let the court decide the settlement then shes going to end up paying more than I would be asking for in the first place. Its sad how she is so disillusioned that she has convinced herself that I just went way off the rails.

I will drop the paperwork off with my attorney for them to rebut. I told WW that she would not threaten me into taking an unfair settlement.

Man you are getting character assassinations from every direction! Just stand true to who you are. Good job in letting her know you won't be bullied.

[Adam04]

ST,

Good to hear from you. Sorry this is still going on at work. You're a fighter. Keep your head up. Glad to hear you are able to enjoy yourself.

[SoTorn]

Thanks everyone. Yes HR is doing their job. However, the HR investigator that interviewed me the second time had already rubber stamped the issue based on her feelings. She literally said "what I heard was so vulgar there is no way she could be lying"

I repeated what she said to her boss because thats a bias assumption. This allegation is a flat out lie and even then its going to negatively impact me at my job for life.

No way I will allow my WW to bully me. I am going to set up my own drug test and deliver the results along with my financial statements to her. WW is trying to find leverage to mess with my custody and try to bully me into taking hardly anything from her. Thats not going to happen. I deserve a fair settlement and thats all I am asking for.

[Adam04]

Don't you have the recording of her to support the infidelity filing which should give you some leverage with that piece of it, right? Least that's what the lawyer said here regarding infidelity evidence and splitting up of assets, you can argue for more

[SoTorn]

No fault state. However, yes, it would come into play to show shes trying to slander me.

[SoTorn]

Update.

So I spoke with my director and HR manager for a fourth time today. I was essentially told that since this woman complained, they have to discipline me no matter what. But since they cant prove what she said is true, beyond her and whomever she coached to lie with her about this claining its true, that I am being demoted and that this will remain on my permanent record. AKA, I will never get promoted again because I was simply accused of not having any morals and outright being hyper vulgar and obscene.

I am talking to an attorney in regards to a defamation lawsuit. This woman lied to protect her job because of her poor performance and because of that she has essentially ruined my career opportunities that I was working so hard to get.

WW is out of town all week again. I an sure WW went out of town for Valentines day with OM. I dont care about that. However, I am not looking forward to trying to deal with her narcissism when trying to negotiate a settlement