I agree. I know for me there have been newish Rs in my life where the woman felt the need to push or define it and it just pushed me away. At least with some had she not that R would have continued. What will you acvomolish? How will it change your R? Will it? Or will you just hear words while the actions don’t change. Why? What actions do you want or need to change?
You clearly have a tendency to have to do it right now. The dog, house remodel, cashing in your retirnenbt. Why the need to rush things? Now in the case of M you have clearly done better and it’s working. So why change what’s working? You found what works so simply keep doing it. You say you are in no rush to get married again not sure if you’d want another child. So what’s the rush. Keep enjoying what you have and let it progress. That’s my suggestion. If there is an action item you want, ask for that rather than done statement to define your R. I strongly think that’s a woman thing. Mist guys don’t care so long as they like the woman and she treats him well.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I want to take the time to thoroughly answer your very thoughtful posts. I’ve been reading while watching D11 have a ball in the pool with her friend. I can’t be as thorough as I would like here on my I phone.
I think the reason why I need an ounce of knowing direction is because I am getting D11 involved. I’ve done it without that knowledge and both ended pretty short after. But I know I’m my heart of hearts this is different t and he takes getting his son involved seriously. ExNG would introduce every woman to his kid even if it wasn’t serious. FF has nothing to lose. So I do know his action to have me meet his kid says something becausebits a big deal to him. Only reason why I want to define anything. Or at least hear he sees this as long term.
The I love you think is because I feel it andnits like bottling feelings inside. But I show it to him, and you know what? He shows it to me.
He’s been burned really hard. I would not have handled it as well as him. For him, I would truly have all the patience in the world. Because I really do love him.
Yes, I should have waited for the dog. I know it. I did it for the kid. It’s all in me. But I can’t undo it. So I’m doing what I need to do in the meantime, it’s the best I can do.
Don- as far as my Reno’s- I did what I had to do to move in. And as we all know, I had no choice but to move out, so I had to pull that money eh. But I did it wisely. It was also not my main rwtirement. I have a much larger nest egg growing that I contribute a decent amount of my paycheck too. Lots of times I do what I can in the situation I a kn and I handled it well.
My dad and I had a nice convo yesterday. He was telling me how proud of me for everything I’ve ever and have been ya fling on my own and all the hange that I just tackle. He says his friends have kids my age and everyone last one of the are leeches. He also apologized to me for not being there when he left my mom. He says he honks about it all the time.
All your words helped me a lot. I’m not in a rush, things are in perspective. And yes, my dad and stepmom really want to meet him and I’m simply going to ask. I’m sure he would be more than happy too.
He is great. I’m lucky to have met him. He’s treated me better than any man ever has and has shown me more love.
Otherwise, I’m just taking everything as it comes and rolling with the punches!!
Last edited by job; 02/06/1902:43 PM. Reason: add link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
