Dealing with a WW and finding my happiness pt. 5

[SoTorn]

The constant barrage of criticism and judgement continues from WW. My three kids asked me to buy them some shoes. So I did.

As I'm doing my homework, sitting in the same room as WW. I get a text saying "instead of buying the kids stuff they dont need why dont you try and pay for the groceries. I wont let you turn them into vain materialistic kids "

I spoke up because I'm tired of the passive aggressive bullshit. I told WW to pay attention and she would notice that after I had to get D16 to tell me how much groceries were, I transferred half of what they cost into the joint account. I do that even though legally I'm not required to and if there were a legal requirement, me paying 50% of everything would not be considered an equitable amount since WW makes a ton more. Equitable would be more like me paying 30% of everything.

I again asked her to please stop with the unwanted and unwarranted BS. Then I advised her that me buying the kids shoes was because they asked and her assumption that I am vain and trying to make them vain is ridiculous.

I told her that I dont care what she thinks of me but trying to claim I'm making our kids vain because I like to dress nice and they wanted shoes was completely outrageous.

WW said "why dont yiu be an adult and not talk about this now because that's why I sent the text instead of talking about it?"

I told WW that if she wanted to act like an adult she would cease this completely unnecessary conflict.

This woman is a real piece of work. How dare I buy myself new clothes after losing 90lbs and how dare I want to dress nice.

I told WW that if she goes shopping, to either leave the receipts out or tell me how much she spent, like I have asked her to about a dozen times now, because I cannot read her mind.

[Adam04]

ST,

Man, she is a piece of work. Really sorry you have to put up with her crap. Grats on the 90 pounds bro.

I know you got this under control. How are you diffusing this so you stay balanced on a daily basis? I think its important for you to keep this in mind so you don't blow up from bottling it up inside.

What I got from you being done with W is that you tolerated enough. I wanted to touch base with you on that on a smaller scale, from your day to day routines. I think its healthy to not look so grand scale, but just your well being from day to day life.

Shoes.... shoes can be payless shoes to $500.00 shoes. Pay her no mind on that.

[SoTorn]

I hit the gym a lot. I also talk with good friends and family. I dont argue with her. I calmly ask her to stop. I will stand up for myself though. I would actually be happy to talk and be cordial but she cannot handle it. She is so intent on making me the enemy.

[SoTorn]

Journaling,

Well February is nearly upon us and therefore my financial planning will be going into effect soon. Thus the countdown begins for me to move out of the house and move completely forward with my life.

Last night I spent a good while on the phone with my new female friend in another state. Again I really like this woman. We both know that there is a must to take it slow, even though we have a lot in common and get along very well.

We talk a lot about codependency and how to avoid it. She is very nice to talk with.

I got hit with a major wave of sadness last night after I got off of the phone. I'm no longer sad about my WW. Im glad that I have the chance to remove her almost completely from my life.

I am sad because I will miss my nice big new house that we built together and I will truly miss living with my kids full time.

I know I will have to overcome the sadness when I move. Overall I am excited to live my own life, set my own goals and show my kids what it's like to move forward and succeed after such a devastating event.

[SoTorn]

So work took an unreal turn today. OMG can my life get much worse?!?!?!

I have been busting my tail at work. Two people on the team I lead are having babies. So babies are a huge topic right now. One of them had their baby this last week.

That being said there are several men that have kids and sont want anymore or just dont want kids in my group.

I was having a casual conversation with a friend on my team about kids. I told my friend that I dont have to worry about kids again and that any girlfriend in the future would also not have to worry. My friend asked why and i told him that I got fixed. It turna out that he also had the procedure. So he was surprised that I had.

That being said, someone, I have no clue who, comolained to HR that I was making lewd comments and gestures or something so I got pulled into HR and asked what I talked about. After I explained the factual conversation that I jad that did not include any sexual comments, curse words or anything obscene otherwise, which was directed at my friend and in regards to both of us no longer wanting kids, I get told that I am being placed on paid leave for several days so that hR can investigate and they will call me to let me know the outcome.

I am completely blind sided by this. I know that talking about a procedure and making sure that I cant have children is not inappropriate at all. I said nothing inappropriate.

I dont even curse at work unless im outsode or in private with a close friend. So now i have to worry about my job of 17 years, where i have had zero complaints ever!!! WTF is going on?!?!

From what I could get I have been accused of being obscene and they kept asking if I was making hand gestures. I disnt gestire anything or talk about sex or anything at all. I dont know wtf this person is talking about!!

Why does all of this BS happen at once? I mean OMFG alresdy.

[Grace21]

Wow! Sorry this has happened! Did HR tell you what was supposedly said? What gestures you supposedly did? Anyway, I would write down exactly the whole scenario as you remember it, who said what, etc. Seems to me HR owes you a more complete explanation. So, so sorry.

[DejaVu6]

Wow. That s*cks ST. Try not to worry about it. Sounds like you have at least one witness who will back you up. What is it they say? When it rains, it pours? The sun will come out soon... promise. (((HUGS)))

[SoTorn]

Wow! Sorry this has happened! Did HR tell you what was supposedly said? What gestures you supposedly did? Anyway, I would write down exactly the whole scenario as you remember it, who said what, etc. Seems to me HR owes you a more complete explanation. So, so sorry.

No they wouldn't tell me who or exactly what. Yes i wrote q statement. Im so upset.

[SoTorn]

Well i slept like crap last night of course.

I cannot believe this is happening. I have my ideas on why this person suddenly decided to do something like this.

[sandi2]

From what I could get I have been accused of being obscene and they kept asking if I was making hand gestures. I disnt gestire anything or talk about sex or anything at all. I dont know wtf this person is talking about!!

Sounds as if someone was ease dropping and wanted to play on the fear of the "me too" movement to get back at you for whatever reason.

If HR does a proper investigation, your appropriate work conduct will speak for itself. Other co-workers will stand behind you, if given the chance. I hate this type of backstabbing mess!