typical WW on my hands

[svdad]

thank you R2C!

[bhappy2]

Question: Who here used a mediator and who here used a Divorce Attorney? Would anyone care to share any experiences, good and bad? I am trying to learn more about this procedure (and knowing WW wants mediator route).

thanks.

I tried to use a mediator, W refused bc she said that she thought the mediatr was a therapist. SMH... so now we use lawyers... I got my lawyer for a flat fee she's a family friend.

[SteveLW]

Question: Who here used a mediator and who here used a Divorce Attorney? Would anyone care to share any experiences, good and bad? I am trying to learn more about this procedure (and knowing WW wants mediator route).

thanks.

I tried to use a mediator, W refused bc she said that she thought the mediatr was a therapist. SMH... so now we use lawyers... I got my lawyer for a flat fee she's a family friend.

This is exactly what I was alluding too! Some WWs don't like be asking about reconciliation by a mediator. So they pull the plug on mediation and hire a lawyer. Or just don't move forward on D at all.

[svdad]

Question: Who here used a mediator and who here used a Divorce Attorney? Would anyone care to share any experiences, good and bad? I am trying to learn more about this procedure (and knowing WW wants mediator route).

thanks.

I tried to use a mediator, W refused bc she said that she thought the mediatr was a therapist. SMH... so now we use lawyers... I got my lawyer for a flat fee she's a family friend.

This is exactly what I was alluding too! Some WWs don't like be asking about reconciliation by a mediator. So they pull the plug on mediation and hire a lawyer. Or just don't move forward on D at all.

Well, I guess in my case i have that going for me - since *she* is the one who is recommending a mediator.

[SteveLW]

Question: Who here used a mediator and who here used a Divorce Attorney? Would anyone care to share any experiences, good and bad? I am trying to learn more about this procedure (and knowing WW wants mediator route).

thanks.

I tried to use a mediator, W refused bc she said that she thought the mediatr was a therapist. SMH... so now we use lawyers... I got my lawyer for a flat fee she's a family friend.

This is exactly what I was alluding too! Some WWs don't like be asking about reconciliation by a mediator. So they pull the plug on mediation and hire a lawyer. Or just don't move forward on D at all.

Well, I guess in my case i have that going for me - since *she* is the one who is recommending a mediator.

For now.

[Twofeet]

Question: Who here used a mediator and who here used a Divorce Attorney? Would anyone care to share any experiences, good and bad? I am trying to learn more about this procedure (and knowing WW wants mediator route).

thanks.

XW initially had an attorney, but I suggested a mediator because we both didn't want to blow this up and cause a lot of financial heartache, we didn't want the gov't in our business, and I wanted what would be the best outcome for my kids. XW found a mediator who was also an attorney. It went fairly smooth and we resolved everything in one sitdown meeting. XW and I pregamed what we wanted, but the mediator/lawyer had better alternatives that worked for us. Just a note for caution our deal was 50/50 and a fair deal on both parties. Even though XW agreed and was happy with the decision at the time, she was/is still a WW and feels resentful. Even though she filed the D and it was her final say so, she feels like she got the raw deal and I came out ahead. Go figure.

Mediation is good because it shows that both parties want to be amicable, it saves money, and it removed any drama that opposing lawyers bring to increase their payout.

[LH19]

[Mediation is good because it shows that both parties want to be amicable, it saves money, and it removed any drama that opposing lawyers bring to increase their payout.

^^^^^^^^ Everything is a calculation. Makes zero sense to go to court. Keep all the money in your pocket that you can because you are going to need it.

[svdad]

XW initially had an attorney, but I suggested a mediator because we both didn't want to blow this up and cause a lot of financial heartache, we didn't want the gov't in our business, and I wanted what would be the best outcome for my kids. XW found a mediator who was also an attorney. It went fairly smooth and we resolved everything in one sitdown meeting. XW and I pregamed what we wanted, but the mediator/lawyer had better alternatives that worked for us. Just a note for caution our deal was 50/50 and a fair deal on both parties. Even though XW agreed and was happy with the decision at the time, she was/is still a WW and feels resentful. Even though she filed the D and it was her final say so, she feels like she got the raw deal and I came out ahead. Go figure.
.

Wait, 50/50 [financials/custody, etc was a better alternative? Do you care to share? And what!? - She feels like 50/50 is a raw deal? Do WW expect more than 50/50 (again - I am super new to this and just trying to absorb all this info - thanks to all that have responded!)

[Twofeet]

Everything was 50/50, but there are different routes to get there. For example I got to keep our house and I never thought that was possible.

Yes at the end she thought she got a raw deal even though she got everything she wanted. A part of this was her WW mentality and a part of this was her glass is half empty mentality. She has bad GiGS.

I haven't read up on your sitch but word of advice, go to an IC, learn to meditate, go back to church, hit the gym, do yoga. Mind, body, spirit. It's not about her anymore, it's about taking care of yourself and your kids.

[svdad]

Still sick. Horrible. D(3) fever at night at as well.


Super hard to GAL when you have been in bed for a week now.

Tell me something good.