I would really think about if it is smart for you to make as much money as you can right now. The less you make the more he will have to give you in child support and alimony.
Nothing says detachment and moral superiority like manipulating the system to make your spouse pay you more money.
Lol! I can see that.
However, in all honest, I’m just trying to get what is fair. I’m not trying to take him to the cleaners. Even though I’m hurt and mad as he11 at him, I’m not trying to make him suffer extra. I’m not trying to be petty or manipulative. I don’t want that karma. Just saying I’m not walking away with “nothing”. And I’m not saying that is what you are insinuating. I just want to make sure I don’t give off the wrong impression.
As much as I don’t want a D and still love my H with every fiber of my being. I do hope he finds inner peace and the happiness he’s so desperately in search of.
I’m praying that God wlll grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can’t change. I’m praying for peace. Right now I’m still in pain but I don’t want to do something that will create some bad karma for me.
That’s why until I sign on the dotted line, I won’t disrespect him or cheat. Honoring my vows is something I have control over. Can’t control him but I can control me.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
Then he just can’t undestand how I can cut him off cold turkey.
Then him saying he can’t understand why I won’t just be his friend.
Translation: he's mad that you won't servee up cake and be manipulated.
Yep! He’s throwing a tantrum like a toddler because he can’t get his way.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
I'm not 100% on your situation, but if you plan on H being in S's life at all after the divorce - I would press with the financial adjustment now. You may not get as much in child support or alimony, but the combined income will be higher which benefits everyone involved. Your business will have a year's worth of progress (and income building) and your H will have to pay less in support, which leaves everyone with more cashflow to focus on the kid (ideally). A rising tide lifts all boats, as they say.
That is my thinking. H wlll be ok financially. Now I have to make sure I’m ok as well. And I definitely want him and S to have a relationship when this is over. He’s a good dad. Can’t take that away from him.
Quote
I'm not your boss (apparently you're your own boss, you bad@ss entrepreneur), so you do you.
Not quite there yet but when I do get there I will definitely a bad @ss entrepreneur!!!!!
EDIT:
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Originally Posted by LH19
I would really think about if it is smart for you to make as much money as you can right now. The less you make the more he will have to give you in child support and alimony.
Nothing says detachment and moral superiority like manipulating the system to make your spouse pay you more money.
Quote
Well said - take what you're owed, but don't game the system to punish your H. Be strong, be independent, free yourself.
That is my plan. Won’t try to punish him, I’ll leave that to God and karma, I just want what’s fair.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
Go get a job that pay's a higher salary than H and pay him child support.
My son will be living with me so I won’t be paying him any child support.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
W:"H, something important came up. I will not be home this weekend. Nothing you need to worry about. S15 is planning on bla bla bla. I will let him know to contact you if he needs anything."
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
W:"H, something important came up. I will not be home this weekend. Nothing you need to worry about. S15 is planning on bla bla bla. I will let him know to contact you if he needs anything."
Yes it is. I packed a small bag and left all my toiletries at home. I went to the store and bought travel size toiletries. I left no evidence that I won’t be coming home. My S is staying at a friends to help him celebrate his friends birthday. As soon as I’m done working today, I’ll be checking into my hotel room.
If H ask where I am, Only then will I reply with the above. Remember he wants out of this M. When I’m not his wife I won’t be texting him in advance that I won’t be coming home. So he doesn’t want a W anymore, time to give him what he ask for. Again, if he send me a text asking wlll I or S be home for dinner, I will text the above.
I should add that I booked the room with a visa gift card. Don’t want him knowing where I’m staying and showing up.
Last edited by Living; 02/08/1906:32 PM.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
W:"H, something important came up. I will not be home this weekend. Nothing you need to worry about. S15 is planning on bla bla bla. I will let him know to contact you if he needs anything."
If H ask where I am, Only then will I reply with the above. Remember he wants out of this M. When I’m not his wife I won’t be texting him in advance that I won’t be coming home. So he doesn’t want a W anymore, time to give him what he ask for. Again, if he send me a text asking wlll I or S be home for dinner, I will text the above.
I would caution against not notifying him about your S. You do you, but he is still the dad and deserves to know where his kid is going to be. Just my thoughts.
W:"H, something important came up. I will not be home this weekend. Nothing you need to worry about. S15 is planning on bla bla bla. I will let him know to contact you if he needs anything."
If H ask where I am, Only then will I reply with the above. Remember he wants out of this M. When I’m not his wife I won’t be texting him in advance that I won’t be coming home. So he doesn’t want a W anymore, time to give him what he ask for. Again, if he send me a text asking wlll I or S be home for dinner, I will text the above.
I would caution against not notifying him about your S. You do you, but he is still the dad and deserves to know where his kid is going to be. Just my thoughts.
You’re right. I’ll swnd him a text and let him know our S is staying at a friends house. That’s why I’m here, I’m angry and it helps that you all keep me from making a stupid mistake.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
